The Known/Unknown Quantity

Chapter 186: Look Around You. We're All Liars Here

Chapter 186: Look Around You. We're All Liars Here

Crowley regarded his quiet angel as they tried to keep up with their youthful guides. They were hoofing it down a rugged country lane that had seen better days, the boys far ahead, and it was a terrible time for his friend to brood.

The demon cleared his throat, then asked, "A piece of work, that Rikbiel, am I roit?"

"Quite," Aziraphale snapped between puffs.

After a while, he tried again. "We could have taken the Bentley."

"No need," the angel returned in a clipped response. Nothing added.

"Oh?" Crowley dug.

"A good stroll is just what I need to clear my head."

"This isn't a stroll, angel. This is a trek on a gravel road behind two rambunctious and very impatient tweens."

"Fine!"

"But just whot you need? Rikbiel must be a piece of work." Crowley raised his nose to the sky, then counted down from ten under his breath. It was right at "one" that Aziraphale exploded.

"That pompous, self-righteous fool!"

"Whot did the prick say?"

"His expects us to clean up his mess!"

"So, he's a father, then." Crowley popped his lips.

"Of that boy in Bangladesh. What a wretched excuse for a parent! And a prime example of thousands of them now, Crowley! Thousands of neglectful angelic parents who thought nothing of their abandoned scions prior!"

"You mean all of them!?!"

"Every one! Not just the current ones! Reaching all the way back to the dawn of Creation! Only NOW that the damage is done...to the dullards seeks vengeance!"

"Opportunistic bunch."

"Agreed!"

"United. You make them sound...like a legion."

"Not far from the truth!"

"And whot is this standing army waiting for, Aziraphale," Crowley ventured darkly. "A commander?"

The angel halted and glared at him, his hands in fists. "Can we shelve this for now, dear? I can only focus on one dilemma at a time."

"Yes, but they are all the same dilemma, aren't they?" Crowley pointed out. "Just moving from one part to another."

"I'm dedicating all my cognition to it."

"Need more pieces?"

"Yes!"

Crowley blew out his cheeks, and held out a hand. "Then carry on."

The angel nodded and pumped his arms and legs forward. The demon watched him march ahead before stirring. Then he called, a bit tersely," But once you get them, you're explaining some things."

That earned him an irate glare back. They kept going.

By the time the farm came into view, the demon was past tired of his sour angel.

"Would've been faster, with the Bentley," Crowley grumbled. "My feet hurt."

"If you'd clip those claws you call toenails, your shoes would fit properly," Aziraphale snapped.

"You seem to like the claws."

"Must you!"

"Must you!" Crowley snarled, exasperated. "You're stewing like a boiling pot! And my feet, or my shoes, or whotever's at the end of my calves, isn't the problem!"

"We're nearly there. Can't this wait?"

"No, angel! Not if you're coming in canons blazing! Whot else did the idiot say?"

"If you must know, we've been deceived! Rikbiel's wagging tongue ended with its tail between its legs, revealing that! And I intend to get to the bottom of this!"

"Deceived?" the demon considered, a little shocked. "By these humans we're going to see?" He moaned, imagining the coming ordeal.

"Never fear. I will conduct myself properly. I assure you."

"Like you are presently? Do you see yourself? Like the whole world spit in your Wheaties and now you're seeing red! First Rikbiel, and now this."

"What is your point!"

"You're projecting."

"I am not!"

"You are. On that angel. Rikbiel left a baby, and so did—"

The angel whirled on him, nearly sending Crowley backwards. "I had no choice!" Aziraphale spat defiantly. "Heaven took all of Jinny! I nearly lost her forever in a tormenting brain fog!"

Aziraphale blinked, and gasped. Crowley's hands were up defensively up to his face, his brows high. "I know, angel," he whispered.

"Heavens, you're right." Aziraphale sagged. "Oh, oh, how beastly of me! I'm sorry," he heaved, putting a palm to his cheek. "How could I leash out...?"

"It's alright, Aziraphale." The demon lifted his glasses so Aziraphale could see his eyes. Pain, and understanding.

The angel cut off a sob, and pressed into Crowley's waiting embrace. "I didn't mean to snap at you. It is all so much! I'll get it together. I promise."

But Crowley still felt the angel's soft body tensing into steel. "Has the projecting turned to these humans?"

"Without a doubt. But I shall reign my ire in, truly I will."

Deep within, Aziraphale's wrath churned, just waiting to boil up while the lid danced over the pot.

Crowley gritted his teeth, sensing the strain in his friend's limbs. Fun times for all, he thought miserably. Elves and elementals and little kids turning into Puck. Anthro personify- personific-personsify- Aargh! Anthro-People! There! Fuck! Dammit! Drama coming from all sides! Nearly wish for the simpler days of the mirror creature.

Nearly. No, strike that. Never mind. I'll take this. A hassle over certain doom.