The Known/Unknown Quantity

Chapter 183: They Call Me Mr. Fell!

Chapter 183: They Call Me Mr. Fell!

"Now wait a minute," Aziraphale declared, holding up his hand. "I just want to know what happened here first."

"Angel," Crowley mumbled out the side of his mouth, "You're not helping things."

"I'm not concerned with fairy edicute, Crowley!" Aziraphale was making fists, scrutinizing the queen. "I deserve an explanation."

"Now is not the time!"

"Oh! You'd rather idle awhile? Would you prefer I let this...this....bark-encrusted tart have her way with you?"

To say the queen was taken aback isn't accurate. More bemused, and lucky for them, as she watched this discourse between them. She gave the angel a half smile, and let go of the door. "Should you tell him or shall I?"

"No, I've got this," the demon said. "Come on, Az. We're worn out our welcome." He turned, motioning for his friend to come with him. But Aziraphale was having a glaring match with the queen. Crowley had to come back and gently guided him by the shoulder.

"I've asked you not to call me that!"

"Then. Come. On!"

Making their way back through the Barrows, Crowley could guess with embarrassment how the angel had faired. The denizens of this realm eyeballed their exit with a menace that proclaimed," Don't come back."

And some of those eyeballs were blackened.

"Did you really fight your way through here?" the demon exclaimed.

"Er, I did bully about some."

"That dwarf had a broken nose. Hi! Hello! Sorry! Yes! We're leaving." He was waving now, calling out to a few. A troll with his arm in a sling growled low as they passed. "Bloody hell, angel! I'm impressed. Pissed, but impressed."

"They did bar my way, and I had to get to you."

"But, shit! You left them humble!"

Once they got to the door, they looked behind them. A crowd of all Fairydom was aggressively staring at their backs.

Waiting.

"Sorry about all the fuss!" Aziraphale apologized brightly. "Won't happen again."

No one said anything. A goblin coughed, and swung a little on his crutches.

"Out, out, out!" Crowley hissed, bundling the bewildering angel out the door.

The tattered sunlight of the human world broke in, and then they were gone, the door slamming shut behind them.

Someone stepped forward, a giant hunched over inside the smaller space.

He dropped a boulder in front of the door.

And everybody went back to their business, grumbling good riddance.

The demon fumed. He refused to speak as they escaped the claustiphobic eldritch woods and made their way to more reassuring terrain. All that time Aziraphale kept his hands to his chest, and looked out the corner of his eye at his friend. And once they made it to the sanctity of the park, and within welcomed site of distant humans, the demon enthusiastically addressed him.

"What possessed you to come after me like that!" Crowley exploded, waving his hands in the air in a ludicrous display. All Aziraphale could do was lean away from him as his friend frantically gestured straight into his face. It was like watching a more solid version of those wiggly, waggly, arm-flailing tube men.