I'll live

Realize

Tw: scale, weight numbers, sad
Colby's POV

I woke up to the bright light of the sun shining trough my curtains

I was reminded of my cancer by the nauseous feeling building up when I stood up

I walked around in my room cleaning a bit while I got a bit lightheaded

I didn't want to be alone incase something happend so I went downstairs

"good morning sleepy head"

"how late is it"

"2pm"

"I thought you were going to wake me up when it was 10"

"the list said you need to sleep 10 to 12 hours a day"

"oh okey"

"here eat this"

"I can't"

"why what's wrong"

"I'm too nauseous"

"at least try, you need to have 3 meals and a couple snacks"

"im going to throw it up anyway"

"fine, have you taken your medication yet"

"no, I forgot"

Sam grabs the list to know what I need to take

"okey so, you need two of these and one of these"

He hands me the medicine and a glass of water

"thanks"

"you have your appointment tomorrow at three, they replaced it to that hour so you can sleep for longer"

"okey"

"sure you don't want to eat"

"sam!"

"what?"

"I get the fact I have cancer but I'm not child so don't treat me like one"

"sorry, I'm just trying to help"

"well don't"

I swallow the pills fast without the water and run upstairs

He keeps telling me over and over again, the things I have to do, the things I can't

I'm shaking when I walked into my room, I noticed how stressed I was, I've never been this stressed before

This reminded me of my first ever panic attack

               ~Flashback~

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor lost in thoughts when I suddenly realized that I've started shake a bit

My breath started to become irregular and short, my chest felt like there was an elephant standing on it

My eyes started to tear up, my thoughts were rushing trough my mind until I couldn't breathe anymore

~flashback end~

But this time it wasn't a panic attack, I noticed it wasn't by the fact that I could breathe normaly

I wasn't crying and I had no reason to be panicing, so what is this

I don't remember everything that stoud on the list so I had go downstairs to ask why I was shivering and cold

I walked downstairs at a slow pace, I had zero energy and I felt like I was going to turn into an ice cube

I was sweating, shaking, dizzy, cold, nauseous and my head was pounding