I'll live

Shower

                  ~colby's POV~

As I start to wake up I notice the pain that struck my head and stumach

Not even just my head and my stomach my whole body hurts like hell.

I debate in my mind if should stand up because I didn't like the idea of passing out again, but I really need to shower

I try and sit up with was already hard but the next step was to stand up wich I did not look forward to

I stand up as slow as possible to prevent myself from passing out

After several attempts of standing up I finally made it to my bathroom

When I walked in I see my two blades from two nights ago still lying on my sink

I actually regret it because I was clean for 3 months and I facked that up, but then again it felt so good

I push the thought aside and grab my shampoo and a couple towels and turn on the shower

I have my own bathroom connected to my room so that's why I don't have to worry about the blades or somebody walking in

When theres Steam in the room I start to undress and once I stepped in this overwhelming pain and dizzyness overcame me as I help on to the door of the shower so I wouldn't fall

When I was done showering I got out and the pain was still there but then a thought came into my head

Grab the blades

What?

U heard me grab the blades

No I'm trying to stay clean

U will fail anyway whats the harm

My thoughts had a point and won my mental battle againg

I picked up the blades and I already felt guilty but I pushed the feeling away

I dig in

I was weak but I put all my power on that knife

The red liquid rolled down my wrist

I dig in again

And again

And again

And again

And again

And again

And again

And again

And again

And again

And again

12 deep cuts that would not stop bleeding

But since I was already weak this mad it worse and the black spots came back, when I opend the door to my room I fell and passed out...

Luckely I was already wearing my sweatpants because before I was fully gone I heard someone open my door.