I'll live

the sun

Colby's pov

I feel my body coming back to its senses and my eyes flutter open. To be honest I'm feeling quite good. On the physical part I mean, the wound on my head didn't hurt and my body seemed to be on my side today.

I'll take this as a win, a small win, but still a win. I looked around the room to be greeted by darkness, it was still night. I prob my body up on my elbows as I search for my phone. I find my bag in the corner of the room, I question my ability to make it that far but it's worth a shot.

I pull the blanket off and turn the light on the night stand on, I take a deep breath getting ready to take off. At first I was a bit wobbly on my feet but eventually I found my balance.

As I'm looking through my bag I come across some things I would have rather not found. They make me stop my movement and stare right at them. It's tempting, really but to prove to Sam that I am better than all that crap I ignore the sliver shiny objects and move on to find my phone.

Aha found it.

I look at the time and it's 6 am. Perfect, none of the boys are awake probably and the sun is about to rise. This is all I need right now, a little peace and quiet. I tuck my phone into my shorts pocket and make my way to the door.

This cabin sort of house is made entirely out of wood so the sound of the door will probably be very loud. I don't want to wake up the other in fear of having to talk so I'm trying to find another escape plan.

I look around the room and the window catches my eyes. Thank fuck that were on the ground level. I open it up and to my surprise it's actually kind of like Luke warm outside.
You know the kind of summer night warmth, it's different then during the day. The air always feels way more breathable at night, especially on a summer morning.

I crawl out, hoping to make zero noise but obviously I fail. As I'm pulling my head through I accidentally bump it against the edge of the opened window. For fucks sake. I stay still and silent for a second before moving on.

I left the window open behind me Incase of an emergency, you know? If I came across a murderer I'd still be able to find the easiest way into the house. Haha, who am I kidding I'd probably find a ghost first.

I make my way to the cliff, the very same spot I passed out. It's kind of ironic how I've always been the healthiest of people my entire life until now. Now I'm just on of the ill. I fear that one day I'll succumb to this shitty disease.

Cancer is the killer of strength and the breaker of families. I had this friend in highschool and his dad had recently died of cancer, lung cancer. He had stopped coming to school, his mom stopped working and his sister had moved away. She wasn't able to stay in a house that only reminded her of her loss.

His whole family tore apart.

I sit at the edge letting my feet dangle in the free air and I just... breathe. It sound stupid and don't get me wrong I don't understand it either. But seeing the sun come up and breathing in that fresh morning air gives me hope.

It's a new day which means I get a new shot at life. Every day is like a shot at life. And every day you get closer to winning. That's what my mom used to tell my brother and I.

Each family dinner, my brother and I could stay up longer. We, of course, took advantage of this and played video games all night long as the adults had conversations downstairs. We used to love to be able to see the sun before anyone else. That's what we thought, that we were the first people in the entire world to make eye contact with the sun.

It felt amazing, just like now.

And who knows maybe on day I'll be able to sit down with my brother in our old shared room and look out the window waiting for the sun to come up. It would be nice to feel like a child again. All these celebrity adult things are getting on my nerves.

First it was being recognized in public and the pictures then it was the interviews. Don't even get me started on the hate. It's like the more loved you are the more hate you get. The system sucks but I still love doing what I do.

Making videos and exploring the world in a way not many people can, it's a privilege. With every privilege comes responsibility and cons.

While I'm sitting here thinking, the stars start to go away and the sky became lighter. I look at what seems like the edge of the world which is just the edge of my eye sight to see a thin line of light start to appear.

The sun slowly but surely makes it's way into the sky moving upward at all costs. It doesn't stop because it feels bad or something went wrong it just keeps going. I should be more like the sun, from now on no giving up.

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Hey, I'm super late and super slow but here it finally is. A happy chapter for once

All the love, max💖