Life after Harem

Explanation and desperation.

Akira left Leblanc with Sojiro looking at him with a gaze full of worry, but Joker was to focused on what he was about to do, to pay attention to anything else. He almost bumped into few people on his way to Sakura residence. The only short thought in his head other than him rehearsing what he wanted to say, was that he's glad that their house is so close to the cafe, because even walking was quite painful. He stopped shortly right before the front door, exhaled loudly and opened the door. Luckily Futaba didn't lock it, otherwise he would have to march back to Sojiro and ask him for his keys.

He took of his shoes, tried to clear his mind and calm down a little - sadly unsuccessfully - and went to Futaba's room stopping right before the doors. He could hear quiet sobbing and the guilt that shortly weakened after he got beat down few moments ago came back with full force. He gently knocked on the door three times. After short silence, he heard her answer given in voice, reminding him of how she sounded when the Phantom Thieves faced shadow with her mom's face:

- Sojiro I k-know you're worried but please, I need some time just to myself right now.

- Boss is still at the Cafe, it's me. 

He heard some loud movement followed by hollow thud. 

- Sorry for startling you, are you ok?

- What are you doing here? Don't come into my room! And of course I'm not ok! Not because I just fell off the bed, but because... because...

Her voice cracked and some muffled sobbing could be heard right after. 

Akira slowly sat down with his back resting on her door. He played out what he wanted to say hundreds of times in his head before, now it was time to actually do it live.

- I know what I did was awful and I have hurt your feelings, and not only yours, but please listen to what I have to say. If you want to you can beat me up again after that if you feel like it.

- I think I w-w-will! - she stuttered still sounding more sad than angry. - I guess you better make this quick, so you could go to all your other girlfriends to try doing the same thing you're trying to do now. You dirty playboy!

- I don't plan talking to anyone other than You today, and I'll stay here till you or Sojiro kick me out of your house. But again, please hear me out, I know you don't want to, but if you'll wish to never talk to me again after that I... - this time it was his voice that cracked from the emotion he felt - I wanted to say that I would respect your decision, but I don't think I could if you'd decide to do that. It's depressing to think I could never talk with you again.

- You say that after I caught you cheating on me with Ann, Makoto, Haru, even your homeroom teacher and doc, and the journalist lady! You should have thought about it before doing that! 

- I won't try to lie to you that it was some misunderstanding, or that it was some small mistake or lapse in judgement, because it wasn't. I won't tell you that you shouldn't be mad at me, because you absolutely should. I hurt everyone, but I've started this so long ago, that when I finally meet you and we got closer, it was way too late to stop this disaster from happening. - He paused for a bit longer - No, it's not actually true. If I would have acted and tried to make things right back then it could have worked. But after things got that out of hand already I was too scared to do it. I couldn't bring myself to brake everyone hearts and when I thought on how you would react to learning, that I've been going out with few woman at the time I confessed to you... And to make things worse I thought to myself "Hey, since I'm already completely screwed, I might as well get close with Haru and Sumire too, since they both were giving me the signals that they are into me". So instead of trying to resolve this, to defuse this bomb that I myself planted I was stupid enough to go and make things even worse.