a parkster fanfiction: why you leave me

The explosion

They got pictures together and then started fake kissing for a photo. 

"Badussy Boyfriend!" Was the caption on Chesters Instagram post. Parker looked at the image and his tears started to exist. He cried he cried he cried and Chester thought he could hear Parker crying. Parker looked at the image and the all of the sudden the reservation was canceled because the restroom was full. 

With fire. 

Chester knew that Parker had taken the Bat mobile from Batman again and drove it to the restaurant and crashed in the bathroom.. Chester ran toward the bathroom and saw parker on the floor dead.

•••

Meanwhile

•••

Thomas began to hear something like an echo location. He gets scared because he knows about bats and he knows that it means his bestie slay bassist friend James Alexander Chester County National Bank Deposit Smithsonian museum Cobble Change Doggy Hungry Schneider Electric Bill Dribilingual was in trouble.

Unless you are Chester's mom, you would not know Chester's full name. Although James Alexander Chester County  National Bank Deposit Smithsonian Museum Cobble Change Doggy Hungry Schneider Electric Bill Dribilingual may seem the most coincidentally put together words in a computer generated lorem ipsum, but truly each one has meaning. 

James is the pronunciation of the twalniao phrase " ज ౌ ண "which translates to "Minnesota Vikings in your butt" which is an insult saying that you do not wash your butt enough. There is no sexual relations or implications in this phrase according a random twali guy I found. They named him James n the American way, but they always wonder by twali people are so offended when they say it.

Alexander being named after Alexander Hamilton, but the guy played by Lin Manuel Miranda. His mom was a theatre kid growing up.

Chester meaning "man who uses a bench press" in Indian American French and German creole. His mother named him this because she wanted him to be strong. Little did she know if what he would do 22 years later after flying to space.

County was a misspelling of country because she had so many words to write. The reason she wanted to name him country was because of her patriotism for America.

National also has to do with her patriotism. She named him national because she wanted everyone to know He was from America and proud. He is not proud and never will be.

Bank meaning that she saw on Facebook that naming your child bank or banks would automatically make the bank pay you 2,000,000,000 and a galleon from the official Harry Potter set in the mail in a porch pirate proof box exactly 3 days after naming it at midnight. This was not true, all she received was a spam call from Varshik at TechPay.

Deposit means how money is being taken from her bank account because of her kid. She has to pay bills, and taxes, and buy him clothes, candy, groceries. More money left her bank account because everything was just so exhausting and so she drank wine on Sundays, beer in Mondays, Mimosa on Tuesdays, water until Friday, and then she drank some vodka on Saturdays.

Smithsonian museum meaning...Smithsonian museum. His mom wanted him to be smart. So she put museum in his name. 

Cobble was his cousin's idea. His cousin was a big Minecraft nerd and named him after his favorite block. 

Change was because  she vowed to Varshik  at TechPay to give her change to her son. This was his allowance. He became very rich in pennies and quarters. 

Doggy was named after her childhood dog, named doggy. Doggy died tragically when a bunch of dungeons and dragons nerds ran him over running to the worlds longest and biggest campaign ever. 

Hungry meaning how she also vowed to Varshik at TechPay that she would always feed her son when he was hungry. She did not keep this promise. 

Schneider was a misspelling of schnauzer because doggy was a mini schnauzer. This was part of the reason the nerds did not she him. 

Electric bill meaning the large electric bills she will need to pay because she made Chester sleep with the light on. 

Dribilingual meaning that he will speak more than two languages. His mom thought that was the right word. It was not. 

Thomas  flew like that one quandale dingle meme. He does to the place and saw parker on the ground. He used his princess paramedics™ powers to be a good demon and save a man. 

Parker was dying on the ground. 

Thomas Jefferson appeared from the deepest pits of hell. 

"Thomas Jefferson... " Thomas Jefferson said, floating in the air with black wings. Chester's eyes twinkled with wonder at Thomas Jefferson. He slowly sunk down into hell. 

"That was so, inspirational..." Chester flung up into, using so much powers paired with Thomas. 

"SUPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... LIFE SAVER!" Chester and Thomas screamed. They kept screaming. Parker slaowly floated into the air. They worked and Thomas  almost died. Parker was thrown five feet 

"əɯ oʇ ʞɔɐq əɯoɔ əsɐəld uıɟɟoq ɐ ʇuɐʍ ı" Parker said. 

"WHAT THE-" Chester couldn't yet finish this sentence because a huge Harry styles stan crowd came at him. He knew that he was now in a Harrry Styles costume. 

"HARRY! HARRY! HARRY!" the fans shouted. 

"THOMAS! Unzip me!" Chester said. Thomas ran toward Chester. His skirt flew in the wind. Thomas unzipped Chester's costume. Then they saw the explosion.