6. I Feel Like I Don't Desreve To Be Loved

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Word Count: 1451

Info: Mattheo find out that Y/n is very stressed about her classes and helps her to take a day off to relax.

Y/n x Mattheo

Mattheo's POV
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I was sitting next to Y/n during class. Y/n is an A-plus student, she knows everything and can solve any problem. She is Hermione but in Slytherin. The main thing with which she is different than Hermione is that Y/n is shy. She always knows the right answer but I have seen her just a few times raising her hand and answering.

Today she seemed tired because she put her head down. Her eyes were a little red this morning. When Professor McGonagall gave the test results, she looked at her paper and made a slightly noticeable sad face.

She always looked happy after the test results, but today was different. I guess she got a lower than expected. When the class ended I was walking at the same pace as her. I didn't know what I was thinking, but I asked her, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, totally fine," Y/n answered with a cracking voice and started walking faster. I also started walking faster and asked another question, "Can you help me with portions?" I didn't lie, I really needed help, but I also wanted to spend time with her and understand what was going on.

"I can just give you the answers and you can copy them as you always do." In her face I found confusion. I am a student who doesn't care about classes and why should I ask for help instead of answers? Funny and confusing right?

"I just want to understand this one rather than just copy your answers." I looked at her waiting for an answer.

"Okay, fine. Come to my room at 6 p.m." she forced a smile and looked at me.

"I'll be there!" I smiled back, but not forcing any smile.

I decided to show up a little early to show her that I'm willing to learn. Also to find out what she is hiding. If I would come at 6 she would act as usual and I won't find out anything.

Anyways, I was standing in front of her room door at 5:35 p.m. I opened the door a little and looked inside. She wasn't there, I came in. Her room was a little messy, with some napkins around her table, homework papers everywhere, and some textbooks under the desk because there was nowhere to put them. I looked at her bed, some stuffed animals were laying on the bed. Near the window, I saw some flowers which seemed not to be watered for several days.

I decided to look inside her closet, but when I approached the door of the closet I heard a whimpering. I went close to the bathroom door, it was a little open and I saw Y/n. She was looking at the mirror and talking to herself.

"Why can't red disappear faster? Come on Y/n, no one can't see you like this. What will they think." She looked at her reflection in the mirror for a few more seconds, then said, "Mattheo won't even notice, he will come just get the homework and go. I'll be fine."

She washed her face to feel refreshed and was about to go out of the bathroom. I tried to hide or exit the room but as I reached the exit door I heard a voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I...I came for practice. It's already..." I looked at my watch and continued, "it is 5:45 p.m."

"You are early, okay, come. I'll just clean this up." She rushed to pick up napkins around the desk, and some papers.

"Why were you crying?" I didn't know why I asked, but I just spilled out that I saw her in the bathroom.

"You... you saw me?" She again started to speak with a crackling voice.

"I'm sorry Y/n, I didn't mean to." Words were coming out on their own. I was trying to fix the situation.

"But why?" Y/n's eyes were watering.

"I wanted to know why you were acting strange in the morning. You seemed sad." I wanted to know what happened. And since I saw her, and I'm here in her room, I won't give up, I'll find out the truth.

"It's nothing really, let me just give you the answers." Y/n wanted to change the subject, but I was stubborn.

"I won't leave until you tell me what happened," I stated firmly.

"Come on, you have a lot of stuff to do, just let me alone. You don't need to act as your care."

"I'm not acting Y/n! And if you won't tell me what happened, I'll tell everyone that I saw you crying." Why I am doing this? She is already in so much pain. Why am I threatening her?

But I already said that and nothing can be changed. I won't tell anyone about today, I just really need to find out what happened.

"Okay, just promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise" I looked at her waiting for her to start.

She started with a crackling voice, "I feel like an outcast with my friends, they only ask how I am when they need homework. My mom recently told me that she is not satisfied with my work. They all want from me something. I am a human being! I also deserve love, attention, and support!" She started to cry.

"Or I'm just someone who doesn't belong here. I don't know. Maybe I'm not enough for all that. Maybe I didn't give enough, maybe I need to try twice harder. I don't know what else to do, I'm so tired of this cruel world. This drives me crazy! Maybe I need time to relax. You don't understand, I just.... I need to be loved, but I don't think I deserve that." Y/n was talking with a sad and furious tone.

"Y/n don't say such things. Of course, you deserve to be loved, you need to find the right person. Now, why don't you give yourself that time?" I asked even not knowing what to expect.

"I can't, no one in our group works, I need to do all the work and I just don't have time." She paused for a second, and then continued "That's why I got lower in this test than expected...."

She started crying even more. I can't see her cry, it kills me inside.

I didn't know how to act. I just hugged her. She didn't hesitate, so she needed that hug.

"It breaks my heart when I see you cry" I hugged her even harder, "Come on don't cry. I'll help you to make a day off. What about now?"

She can't stop crying, she gulps for air and shudders in my arms. I heard her muffled voice saying, "I have some stuff to do."

My loud and clear voice tried to convince her, "Come on, it is Friday, you have the weekend to work on."

"I guess I can... Also, you won't leave me alone. So let's do it." She smiled a little, and this one was not forced.

"We will make a movie night and then play games and eat candies and chips. When was the last time you ate?"

"Morning, as I remember."

"You need to eat too. It's important. Don't let stress and frustration take away your health. And that's why we are going to have a day off."

We organized everything and sat to watch a movie. She seemed happy. I was happy to help her. I felt proud, I made someone happy.

"Mattheo, but why did you help me?" I did not expect this question to come.

"I... Y/n I love you, that's why." I can't believe I said this. I finally confessed my feelings.

She looked at me with sparkling eyes and kissed me. I can't believe I kissed the love of my life. She touched my hair as we kissed and I hugged her. It was amazing. When we stopped kissing I looked at her. "Does this mean you like me back?"

"Yeah Mattheo, I like you since the third year."

"Y/n we are in the last year of school. Why did you keep it that long?" I was surprised because I liked her too from third grade.

"I thought you didn't like me back."

"I liked you too. Since the third year!"

I hugged her again, and we stayed like that. We cuddled together and watched the movie.

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