Slytherin Oneshots

9. Cuts...

Word Count: 1625

Info: Y/n is cutting her wrists and is dealing with depression. She tries to hide it but one day fails to do so.

Y/n x Mattheo

Y/n's POV
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So lately I was feeling like an outcast in my friend group and that made me overthink everything: I feel like everyone is pretending, pretending to like me or be interested to talk to me, pretending to care, pretending that I am interesting to talk to, lying to me.

Also started thinking about how people can be careless and referred all that to me. I started to think that I don't belong in this world and that Hogwarts can be a much better place without me.

My sleep schedule got interrupted. I could not sleep well I was overthinking everything. The only reason I did not end my life yet is that I still have a little hope that someday I will have a best friend or boyfriend to whom I can tell my secrets. One who will understand my jokes without my having to explain them.

So I started thinking that since I don't belong here and even my friends pretend to like me, I should hurt myself. So I started cutting. First I did small cuts, they were helping me to forget the bad things of the day.

***

I barely managed to wake up, I went to my classes. The first was transfiguration. I was sitting with my crush Mattheo. We are friends but I don't think he likes me, lately, we started to talk barely and he became rude towards me.

Unimaginably I handled all classes and left back to Slytherin's common room. My friends were sitting there and learning. I don't call it learning, they sit and talk.

I just said "hi" and was about to leave when Mattheo asked me to stay, "Hey! Would you join us?" He came close to me and I started blushing because he is my crush!

I agreed and sat next to him. While they were talking about some annoying kids at school I was silently writing the worksheet that McGonagall gave us. It was a study guide for our upcoming test.

While writing Pansy asked me, "Aren't you hot in here? The fireplace is right next to us. It is about 83 degrees (29 Celsius) in here."

"I was cold outside, so I'm just getting warm. It's good, I'm always cold." I made up an excuse.

"Okay!" Said Pansy and continued talking about something important for her.

I was writing my stuff when I noticed that my sleeve went down. I should fix it! As I pulled it back I touched a cut, that hurt.

"Are you okay?" Asked Mattheo who was sitting next to me.

"Yeah yeah, I just need to use the bathroom." As I said I ran to the nearest bathroom. I felt terrible, I want to share my feelings with someone, I want to yell and tell my problems, so I won't need to hold them inside me and torture myself. But on the other hand, it feels better not to talk, at all, about anything, to anyone.

I need more cuts, so I take my knife out and start to cut. The blood is falling into the sink. I opened up the water so it will wash off the blood and there won't be any evidence left of me cutting.

I think I am so annoying. I have got to be annoying my friends. I was thinking about this and cutting when I heard a knock.

"Y/n! Are you in there?" It was Mattheo's voice.

I quickly hid the knife in my pocket and yelled back at Mattheo, "Yeah, I told you that I'm in the bathroom." My voice was a little crackly, it was hard to speak.