𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

19 | dirty secrets

The sound of the water was always something that calmed me down, giving me a sense of peace.

I sat here with my feet in the sand, staring at the waves crashing. My mind jumped from one source to another but it always went back to one person.

"Hey" I look over my shoulder to see the boy I've been avoiding.

Swallowing harshly I said "Hey" I watch him sit beside me and I look away and back to the water. Waiting to eel something but I didn't. The sun was setting and I knew I couldn't be here long.

"Thank you for agreeing to hear me out" he spoke gently.

"I'm not hearing you out Dylan, I already heard your apology"

"Then why did you agree to this?" I look at him and into his hopeful eyes.

My eyes fall to the sand and I sigh. Truthfully, I wanted to tell him how he hurt me but I couldn't. I couldn't look him in the eyes and tell him that his actions hurt me when the only thing it did was piss me off and do something I wanted to do for years.

"I agreed so you can get whatever off of your chest and leave me alone" I look up at him and he looked as if he was a punch in the gut.

He looked over my face "You actually like him don't you?"

I lick my lips and look ahead, where the sun met the water. "Maybe I do" I whispered but I knew he heard me. "What's it to you?"

"I love—loved you" I scoff at his sudden words "It's true. I fucked up, I did but I can honestly sit here and say that I do care about you, and seeing you with him hurts"

Silence roamed around us, I had nothing to say and he couldn't expect me to forgive him. I couldn't.

"Why?" I asked, looking at him again, "Why did you cheat on me? Wasn't I enough?" My voice betrayed me, making my vision go blurry.

"You were" He hold my face in his hands and I didn't pull away as he said "But I was stupid and losing you made me realize that you're all I want Jisung"

That's when I pulled away, standing up and wiping the fallen tears "Too late" I said. "I-I deserve better and you—you aren't better" I walked away, just wanting to go home.

A hand stops me and I turn around to Dylan's pleading eyes "Please Jisung, hear me out and believe my words"

I pull my arm from his grip, walking up to him "Leave me alone or I will tell my brother and you know he won't hesitate to confront you and your little group" I threatened.

Dylan scoffs "Fine if this is how you want it then so be it" I step back once he steps forward "But remember, I know all your little dirty secrets Jisung and I don't think Minho will want a pathetic dirty slut like you"

I swallowed harshly "Your bluffing"

"And why would I be? Huh?" He smirks

"Leave me alone!" I yelled and walked away, hating how he had this on me. I hated how he knew me, almost all of me. I hated that I let him in.

-

I walk into the house and was immediately greeted by laughter that stopped at my presence. I turn around slowly "Jisung" I heard Chan's stern voice and stop.

I turn around and pull at my hoodie sleeves "Yes?"

"Where were you, I went to your room to see if you were hungry and you were gone and then I continued to call you and you didn't answer"

I look at Minho and immediately looked away "Yeah, I turned my phone off" Chan looks at me and I sigh "I only went for a walk, it's not like I ran away"

"You know mom doesn't like us out late"

I nod "I know, it won't happen again. Can I go now?" He nods and I walk away. Chan was always protective, so this was something I was used to.

I walk to my room but didn't make it "Where were you?"

I turn around to see Minho, he looked almost irritated. I roll my eyes and sigh loudly "As I said, I went for a walk" He grabs my wrist and pulls me into my room. I pull my hand away from his grip "What are you doing?"

My back hits the door and I watch as he locks the door "Where were you Jisung?" He asks again.

"Walking"

He looks over my face and lets out a low scoff "Yeah, right" he walked away and for some reason I hated it. I wanted him back in front of me.

I walk to him and he turns to me, "What do you want me to say?"

"Maybe you can start with the truth"

I swallow "It was the truth" For some reason, I didn't want to tell him how I met up with Dylan. He nods slowly and walks past me, ready to leave my room but I stopped him, standing in front of the door "Fine, I met with Dylan"

Minho looks away from me and nods slowly, taking in my truths. "Why?" He looks at me. I shrug and he walks closer to me "Tell me the full truth, why did you meet up with him?"

I think back to, I told myself it was to tell him to leave me alone but I lied to myself.

I looked down, feeling Minho's eyes on me. "I-I wanted to see if I felt anything" My eyes slowly meet him, vision growing blurry "I hate myself for staying with him for so long"

Minho lets out a small sigh, walking closer and wiping the tear that fell—making more fall to replace it. "Don't cry" He whispered "I don't want to see you cry"

"I don't want you to see me cry either" I chuckle and he does too, pulling in for a hug.

His hand rubbed my back slowly, his scent filling my senses. "What did he tell you anyway, you looked pretty upset when you walked in"

I pull away and look at him "Nothing, just some stupid things but I'm okay" I lied.

He hums and wipes my face again "Good, being that I am your 'boyfriend' I would be really mad if he did hurt you" My heart fluttered and I didn't like it.

The way this moment felt so... good. Being in his arms and him wiping my tears it felt like he was telling me it would be okay but for what?

This won't last and I shouldn't get used to it, this and him being nice. We weren't meant to be nice because this was a part of our deal, right? This wasn't real, though deep down I wish it was.