𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

39 | freshman year

*Song rec - I should hate
you by Gracie Abrams*

I paced around the kitchen, biting my nails anxiously. My eyes were on my phone as I tried to convince myself that I wasn't waiting for a call or text but in reality, I was.

"Pacing isn't gonna make him call you" I turn around and see Chan walking into the kitchen, sitting on a stool and leaning on the island.

"I'm waiting for Hyunjin to call me, actually" I lied.

"So not a specific boy named, Minho?"

I shake my head "Nope"

Chan looked around the kitchen mindlessly "Too bad, I was gonna let you in on a few things about him"

I walk to the island and lean on in "You can still tell me" Chan looks at me with a knowing smile "Not that I care"

"Well if you don't care then why tell you?"

I groan "Chan, just tell me"

"Fine" He started "But I want to know how you feel"

"I feel good. Now tell me"

Chan chuckles "I meant about this whole situation"

I swallow harshly and shrug "You want the truth?"

"Always"

I sigh softly "It hurts" Chan frowns "I-I can tell you now that I did agree to a fake relationship with him. Obviously now I know it was a lot more than that for him" I chuckle bitterly.

Chan was quiet for a moment before speaking up "Minho is my best friend" He started "I know a lot about him and he does me" I furrow my brows, trying to figure out what he was getting at. "Does Hyunjin talk to you about Seungmin?"

My confusion deepened "Why?"

"Does Felix talk to you about me?" He asks.

"Yeah but—"

"And Minho talks to me" He interrupted me "About you" He chuckles at my face which falls as I now understand what he was saying.

"It was probably all fake, trying to further his plan"

"Jisung, listen to me," He said sternly and I shut up. "He talks to me... about you"

"Okay and?"

Chan chuckles and shakes his head "And it first happened when we were barely in middle school"

What? What the fuck was he saying?

"Well, he always talked about you, like when we were kids he would be the one to tell me to invite you to the park or hang out with us in my room" I look down, not believing his words because Minho was always so rude to me.

"B-But he would always pick on me when we were kids"

"Don't you see?" I look at him with furrowed brows "Minho was a shy kid Jisung, he expresses his liking in people in a different way than us"

I shake my head "But you even knew his words were too much, you always told him to stop when he made me cry" I roll my eyes "Until you didn't and let him talk all his shit" Chan smiles at me and I glare at him "What's with the creepy smile?"

"We snuck out a week before and went to the lake and got drunk, we wanted to have some fun before the start of freshman year"

"Mom would be pissed if she heard this" I cross my arms and he laughs.

"Good thing she will never find out," He says "But as I was saying, we got drunk and that was the summer you started dating Dylan"

That summer right before we started freshman year was the year I did start dating him but I wasn't sure why it was relevant. This was three years ago.

I decided to let him continue instead of interrupting. "The night started off fun and we were all joking around until we got threw more bottles Seungmin brought up Hyunjin and how he found him extremely attractive and the group all encouraged him to go for it and that's how he gained the confidence to do so, but then Changbin brought your name into the situation and asked me how I felt about you with Dylan," He said and I bite the inside of my cheek "You already know I didn't like the boy because I made that clear in the beginning and this night was the night we had that small argument about you dating him so I was pretty upset when he brought it up"

That night I remember going to the beach with Hyunjin and Felix, but I ended up leaving with Dylan to walk along the shore. It was my first real relationship and so it all felt so surreal, it was almost like a dream and I remember being happy.

"I think my reaction to the situation made this drunk Minho come out about his liking in you—"

"What?" my eyes wide as soon as those words left his lips.

Chan chuckles "Surprise," He said jokingly.

"He told you—He told you he liked me that night?" I was shocked, to say the least.

"Why else would I stop getting onto him about all the bickering with you?"

I shrug "Thought you just stopped caring?"

"No, I just realized he did it because he liked you and he was just too scared to say it," Chan said and I look away, letting all this information fill my head.

"So you knew all this time?"

"Yeah," He said simply "And no matter how much I tried to tell him to man up and tell you he never did because you were with that douche Dylan"

I sigh loudly "But he wanted to hurt me, he had me and then he hurt me. That's not what someone does when they like them" I look at him.

"I don't think he meant to"

I scoff "Why are you defending him?"

"I'm not Jisung," He said seriously "But think of it this way, he liked you—probably since we were kids, and then when he was ready to admit it you went and started dating someone. That's gotta hurt"

I shake my head "That's my fault, he never showed a ounce of liking towards me. How was I supposed to know behind all the harsh shit he said to me?"

"But didn't you wonder why he just suddenly started hating Dylan? Why after freshman year he kept more of a distance away from you and when he was around it was never long?" I stood silent and looked down "He shouldn't have hurt you, I get that but he's little weird don't you think?" I snort and look to Chan who gave me comforting smile "He doesn't handle alcohol that well, I mean he gets drunk, and stop blurting out shit in the moment"

I chuckle and Chan sighs "I think he did say that to Caroline but maybe out of pain, I don't think Minho would hurt you like that. I also think maybe that was his plan but when he finally had you it got thrown out the window"

"You think I should forgive him?"

"That's not my call to make, it's yours" I sigh softly "Do you want to?"

I shrug "I'm not sure," I said "I don't want to get hurt again"

"If he hurts you again I'll kick his ass this time" I chuckle lowly and he stands up off the stool and gives me a soft smile "But I'm on your side, no matter the choice you make," He says before walking out.

I wasn't sure what to do now. My eyes go back to my phone and I frown. "I hurt you" I mumble "But you also hurt me"

*Song rec - I should hate
you by Gracie Abrams*

Getting closer and closer to the end :(