𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

38 | forgiveness

*Song rec - Right Here
by Chase Atlantic*

I close the door behind me, trying my best to stay as quiet as possible.

I wasn't sure if this was a mistake but it was happening and I couldn't find it in me to back out.

After my shower I found my phone ringing on my bed and seeing who it was, I should have ignored it. I should have let it ring and gone to bed like I had told mom I would do and what Chan expected me to do after dinner but instead, I answered it.

Hearing his low voice through the phone, it came off surprised that I even answered but still, he asked me to meet him and with hesitance and a long pause for me to mentally think about if I should do this. I finally answered and agreed.

I snuck out of the house and now I'm walking to the place that didn't just have one bad memory but now memories with him that I wasn't even sure if we felt the same in. I knew how I felt even when denying it, but was it always fake for him?

I walked and walked, it was a small distance but felt like I arrived sooner than usual with all that was going on in my mind and the anxious feeling roaming my body.

Slowly I walked through the trees and there he was. Sitting on the large rock like he was the first time we met up here. I walk to him, hesitant in my movements and I didn't sit beside him but awkwardly stood there.

He turns to me and I look away "You came" His voice was soft and I hated it.

I hum "Well I don't want Chan to lose his best friend"

"Right"

Silence. The silence was louder in these times. The only things you heard was the water and the small breeze blowing through the trees and maybe my heart pounding out of my chest.

"I'm sorry" I heard him say "I am, truly"

I grimace and look at him, he already looked at me and I refused to let the hurt in his eyes blind me. "So it's all true?"

He nods slowly "Yeah but—"

"But what?" I ask "What can possibly be added to this situation?" I tried my best to keep my composure but slowly I felt myself shake. "You played me like some fool" I chuckle bitterly "Even after I told you that what I was avoiding... looking like—like someone nobody wants" I felt the tears well up in my eyes.

Minho got off the rock at the sight of my glossy eyes and he shook his head, walking towards me "Jisung—no that's not what I wanted"

I step back at the touch of his hand on my shoulder "Don't touch me!" I said harshly "I don't want you to touch me," I said more softly as my voice broke.

Minho looks at me, pain evident in his eyes "I didn't mean to hurt you like this"

"Well you did," I said without thinking "It hurts"

Minho walked closer again but this time I didn't move as he put his hand on my cheek "I'm sorry" I move my head to the side and his hand slipped from my face "Forgive me and I'll make it up to you"

I look at him "What if I don't want to forgive you? It was a lot easier hating you"

Minho frowns "You really did hate me?"

I sigh and shook my head "No" Why was I admitting this? "My friends expect me to end this"

"I don't give a fuck about your friends"

Something about the way he said that sent chills down my spine. I did a lot of things in my life that I regret so adding to it wasn't a problem.

I crash my lip onto him in a second. Maybe it was for me, trying to prove to myself that this wasn't what I wanted and that I could possibly get over whatever feeling this was but I was wrong. I trapped myself and in the end I was the fool because this feeling of his lips on mine was something I wanted to feel over and over again.