You are my home

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Valerie

I am proud of Melissa for telling her story so openly and honestly to my mother and sister. I know how hard that is for her. "Val?". I look up at Chloe, who throws a pillow at me. "Um?". Smiling, she shakes her head. "I was telling you a whole story, but never mind. I really don't see this going well for another three months. That Melissa told us this shows how strong her feeling for you is, otherwise she never would have. And when I see you like this, the feeling you have for her goes much further than a heavy crush". With my red cheeks I give her a nod, because she's right. " How do you mean?". my mother asks. "Oh nothing special". Chloe looks at me. "Don't you call that anything special? Or are you afraid to admit it?" I sigh. "You'll think I'm crazy, but I love her." My mother and sister start laughing. "What's crazy about that?" Chloe asks. " We expressed our feelings for each other just a few days ago. Yes, I have had feelings for her for two years and have come to love her as a friend. But now that I know that it doesn't have to stop there, my feeling only gets stronger and stronger". My mother gives me a smile. "Valerie there is nothing crazy about that. It just shows how much you feel for her." My mother stops talking when Melissa comes back into the living room.

Melissa sits down next to me and looks at me a little angry. " What is?". She sighs. "As if you don't know." I look at her with a smile. I now know what's up. She must have seen the laptop I got for her upstairs in her bedroom. "You will now have less time to go to the library and so you will have to do your school work here". She kisses me on the forehead, but I can tell she's not very happy about it. " Thank you". Then she looks at her violin case, which is lying on her lap. She rubs it with her hands for a while. I sit closer to her and wrap my arm around her. " Is everything alright?". She shrugs. "It hurts me to look at the violin, especially when it is broken. And it brings back too many memories." She says softly and a bit broken. I kiss her on her temple. "We can also view it without you having to see it yourself". She looks at me with tears in her eyes and gives me a small nod. "Chloe". I say softly and nod once the case. She understands what I mean and stands up to carefully take the case from Melissa's lap. I then wrap Melissa in a tight hug. "Do your will carefully". She says sobbing. " Of course. I will just look at it and take some pictures to show to my husband". Chloe tries to say it so reassuringly, but I don't think Melissa even gets it. She also held me tight. I can tell she's trying to hold back. "You don't have to pretend. Just throw it all out." I whisper to her. It doesn't take long before she really starts to cry. I gently caress her back and regularly give her a kiss on the head. "Chloe come, then let's leave them alone for a while". My mother says so that she gets up and walks out of the living room with Chloe.

"Are you okay?". I ask when I notice that Melissa has calmed down a bit. I feel her nod. "Sorry I get so emotional every time." I kiss her on the head. "You really don't have to apologize for that. You don't have to keep it all inside. I am here for you". She grips me a little tighter. "Will your mother and sister mind if I don't say goodbye to them. I really want to go to bed now and I really don't want them to see me like this". I let go of her slightly and look at her with a small smile. "I think they will understand that. Should I send them home?". I ask as I wipe away her tears. "I really want to go to bed". I give her a kiss on her forehead. "Okay, go to sleep. If you need me don't hesitate to come to me". She gives me a small nod. " See you tomorrow". She says it when she gets up.

"Melissa wait a minute". She was already at the door and turns to me. I get up and walk over to her. I grab her face with both hands. I put my lips on hers for a few seconds and then put my forehead against hers. "Sleep well Lis". I whisper. She has a smile on her red face. "That should work now". We keep staring at each other for a while. "Then I'll go upstairs." I give her a small nod. "Yeah, that seems sensible to me." I say a sigh. She quickly puts her lips on mine and then really goes upstairs. I touch my lips with my fingers. This already felt great. I think I've only made it harder for myself now.

I then thanked my mother and sister for this evening and kindly asked them to leave. Then I immediately went to bed. Which I've been reading for an hour now. I hear a door open. Not much later I can see from the shadow under the door that Melissa walks back and forth a few times. Finally I hear her go downstairs. Fifteen minutes later, she still hasn't come back up.

"Can't you sleep?" I ask when I found her outside. She lies on her back in the grass and stares upwards. She doesn't respond to it. I lie down next to her. " Do you want to talk about it?". She shakes her head. " Rather not. I didn't wake you up, did I?" she asks softly. "No, I was still reading". Melissa comes closer to me and lays her head on my shoulder. In silence we stare at the stars for a while. "Can we just talk about something?". It is Melissa who breaks the silence . " What do you want to talk about?". She moves away from me and turns onto her side. She rests her head on her palm. "I don't really care. If only I could change my mind a little." I nod in understanding and take the same position as her so that we face each other. "You and Emma have always been in the same class, haven't you?". She nods. " At least from the moment Emma came to this school". I can tell from the way she says it that she doesn't understand why I'm asking that. "You also had lessons from Anne, didn't you?". She nods. "We had her the first year she came to school. How so?". I shrug. " Nothing special". Melissa shakes her head. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you're asking that just like that". I look at her with a smile. "Okay you're right". She looks at me questioningly. "So why did you ask?" she asks impatiently. "Never mind. I'll imagine." I sit down and wonder if it was wise to bring this up. "Val what is it?". I sigh. "Maybe I've got it all wrong. This week I was with Anne in my classroom and then Emma came in. I could feel a certain tension or something". Melissa also sits down now. " How do you mean?". I give her a smile. "They stared at each other for a while. I even saw Emma blush." Melissa looks at me with wide eyes. " Serious?". I nod. "But what I said, maybe I've seen it wrong". Melissa starts laughing. "I do know that Emma had a crush on her". I'm a bit surprised to hear that. "I thought she was straight". She shakes her head. "Emma is bi". "Okay I didn't know that. Doesn't she mind that you told me that now?". She gives me a smile. "She has no problem with people knowing. She just doesn't want Sofia to know". I nod understandingly. "So you saw her blush? I don't think I've ever experienced that before." I nod with a smile. "I had never experienced it before either. She also tried hard to hide it. If that's the only thing I noticed, I don't think I would have told you." Melissa looks at me questioningly. "I could also notice something with Anne, but I'm not quite sure what". " How do you mean?". I shrug. " She didn't know how quickly she had to leave the classroom after their eye contact, but she couldn't resist wishing Emma a good day ". Melissa starts laughing. "Oh no." I look at her questioningly. " What?". " A teacher and a student who like each other. I really don't think that's possible." I shake my head with a smile. "That would indeed be a shame. Do you really think it is?" She shrugs. "If someone manages to make Emma blush, that means something. So from her side it could be possible. She hasn't been quite herself the last few days, but she keeps saying that nothing is wrong. I don't know Anne, so I can't say anything about that".

Melissa gets a dirty smile on her face. "We can have a friends night sometime". Smiling, I shake my head. "You are really bad. I don't even know if I saw it right." She shrugs. "There's only one way to find out." she says with a wink. " I will think about it. I don't want to encourage Anne to start something with a student. We both know that it is actually forbidden". She nods in understanding. "Aren't you afraid she'll find out what's going on between us?". I shake my head. "I trust her. If she finds out that there is more going on between us, she will never cause problems. But enough about this. I think it really is time to go to bed". She nods. " Good idea. Thank you for changing my mind. By the way, is Rose coming home tomorrow?". I shake my head. "I'll pick her up on Monday after school." She looks at me with a sad face. "Should I wait another day?" I give her a kiss on her forehead. "Just enjoy that day. I think there will be days when you will go crazy with her". She shakes her head. "She is your daughter so that is impossible". I stand up with a smile on my face. "We'll see about that, but now it's really bedtime." I hold out my hand to her and help her get up.

Upstairs we give each other a hug. "Sleep well Lis". She looks at me a bit unsure. "Can I have a goodnight kiss?". she asks very nervously. I shake my head with a smile. I quickly put my lips on hers. " Thank you. Sleep well Val". she says with her red cheeks. After that it is really time to find our own bed's.