You are my home

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Melissa

I still have ten minutes of history to go and then I finally have lunch break. It really is the most boring class there is. The door of the classroom opens, after a gentle knock, Miss. Smith enters. "What will be the matter?". I shrug when Emma asks me in a whisper. Miss. Smith usually only enters a class when something is wrong. She has a short chat with Mr. Jones and then I see her walking towards us. When she is next to me she drops to her knees. "Melissa would you like to come with me?". she asks softly. I'm shocked when she asks because I have no idea why I should come with her. The first thing I think of is that she found out I live alone. She seems to understand and puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "I want to ask you a favor." I give her a small nod. " What is going on?". It is Emma who asks softly. Miss. Smith looks at her with a smile. In the meantime I put my things in my bag. "I need Melissa's help." That seems to reassure Emma. " See you later". I say to Emma when I get up and follow Miss Smith out oI give her a small nod and, to be honest, I'm still nervous. "W-why do I have to come?" She sighs and starts walking. I just follow her. "I know it's actually very unprofessional to pull you f the room.

As soon as we are in the hallway, Miss. Smith looks at me. "Sorry if I scared you. You didn't do anything wrong or anything." out of class like that, but I want to ask you to check on Valerie." I look at her questioningly. "I just told my daughter something. I think she could use a good friend." I'm surprised to hear that. Of course she knows that Valerie and I are in touch, but I never thought she would think of me when she thought of a good friend of her daughter. " Of course, no problem". She gives me a small smile. " Thank you. She's in her classroom. Just walk in. She's expecting me in a minute, but I think she'd rather see you now. If there's anything, I'm in my office." I give her a nod. Miss. Smith sets off for her office and I head for Valerie's classroom. I really wonder what's going on.

I knock lightly on the door, but there is no response. I'll just do what Miss Smith said and go inside. Valerie is sitting at her desk. Her face is hidden behind her hands. "Val?". Startled, she looks at me. "W-What are you doing here? Did I miss the bell?" I shake my head. I can see she has been crying. "Your mother sent me. What is going on?". I can see the surprise in her eyes. "My mother sent you?". I nod and walk over to her. "You could use a good friend, she said." A small smile appears on her face. She gets up and goes to the window. She stares outside and doesn't say a word.

I'm not sure what comes over me when I get behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. It's a good thing Valerie's classroom is on the top floor and no one can see it. I don't think it's appreciated when a student stands with a teacher like that. At least Valerie doesn't seem to have a problem with it. "Valerie what's going on?". I ask softly as I rest my chin on her shoulder. "I just heard from my mother that my father passed away last night". I'm surprised when I seem to hear a smile in her voice. "And you think that's funny?" I ask gently. I guess I didn't hear it right. She sighs and lays her head against mine. "I don't really know what I feel about it, Lis". She turns in my arms. She puts her face on my neck, which I soon feel wet from her tears. I hold her tight. "How bad do you think I am when I say that it is actually a great relief?". Somehow I'm not surprised when I hear her whisper that. She has sometimes mentioned her father in our conversations, but I never really heard a good word about him. "Val, of course you're not bad if you feel that way. You will have your reason for it". She raises her head slightly and looks at me with a small smile. "Why does it feel like a relief?". I ask as I wipe away her tears. She turns and stares back outside. "No, please stay with me." She says as soon as she notices me stepping away from her. "Okay". I go back behind her. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her temple.

"Of course it also hurts. He's still my father." She starts talking after a few minutes of silence. "I never had a very good relationship with him. I can't tell you everything, but he has largely defined my life. Now that he is gone, I can finally choose myself". She says with a sigh. "S-Sorry, I don't really know how to respond to this". She turns her face slightly and looks at me with a small smile. "You don't even have to respond to it. You are here and that is more than enough". She turns her head back and puts it against mine.

We've been staring outside in silence for minutes. Valerie really seems to be completely in her own thoughts for a while. Every now and then she wipes away her tears and then she takes my arms to hold them even tighter around her. "Um. Is everything okay here?" Shocked, I look back at Emma. I hadn't heard her come in. I don't think Valerie even realizes that someone has entered the room yet. I want to let go of Valerie, but she grabs my arms so I can't. "Emma is here." I whisper in her ear. Valerie looks around. "Oh. hey". Then she stares back outside. Emma looks at me questioningly. "Should I go again?" I shake my head. "Val could use some company". Emma walks towards us and stands next to us. "Are you okay, Valerie?". Valerie turns her face to Emma and nods. "My father passed away". Then she tells Emma what she just told me.

I'm glad that at the end of the lunch break Valerie seems to have recovered nicely. I don't know if I could have walked out of the room otherwise. I am also curious about the whole story about her father, because I could see that she left things out. Maybe she'll tell me someday.