You are my home

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Melissa

I wake up in Valerie's arms. She's still sleeping soundly, which doesn't surprise me. That gives me every opportunity to take a good look at the beauty next to me. Before I kiss her neck. " Mmm. Good morning". Does come out sleepy to her not much later. " Good morning beautiful. How do you feel?". I ask after I give her a kiss. "As if I had one orgasm after another all night long". she says with sparkling eyes. " And how does that feel?". She turns so she lays on top of me. " Awesome. And how does my birthday girl feel?". I bite my lip. "As if it was the first time s..". Valerie's eyes widen before I can finish my sentence. " What? You mean that?". I nod. She puts her hand against my face and caresses my cheek with her thumb. "But I thought. Melissa, why didn't you tell me?" I give her a small smile. "I have only given before. I didn't say anything to you because then you would hold back and I didn't want that". She kisses me. " No regrets?". I shake my head hard. " No regrets". I say as I switch positions. "I am glad that you are my first and only". I say in between I start kissing my way down Valerie's body.

I'm glad we already celebrated my birthday last night. It was really super fun. Valerie's mother was there. Just like Chloe and Rick, her husband, and of course Emma and Anne. We played a lot of board games and laughed a lot. I am also really overloaded with presents. I only get Valerie's today. She also has already given me the best gift. That was when she sent everyone home just after midnight and then went to the bedroom with the two of us. We had a great time there.

I consciously chose to spend the day alone with Valerie. Because I find it quite heavy. On a day like today it hurts even more that I no longer have my family, especilly Fenna, in my life. We don't really have anything planned. Only that tonight we pick up Rose from her father and then go out for dinner with the three of us. I'm glad Valerie took care of that. It makes it extra special that Rose is also there on my birthday.

We spent a long time in the bedroom. Then we just got up. After an long shower we had breakfast together. We just spent some time playing the piano together. Valerie has just got up to open the front door. It had something to do with my birthday present, but I don't quite understand why I hear Chloe's voice. I did notice that Valerie is quite nervous. After a few minutes she comes back into the living room. I walk over to her shaking my head and with tears streaming down my cheeks. "No, I don't want that." I can already tell from the shape what it is. She puts it on the couch and then comes back to me. I give her a questioning look as she nervously hands me an envelope. " Read this. Then you can decide whether to unwrap your present or not". I open the envelope. As soon as I read the first words I fell to my knees. Valerie catches me just in time. "W-What is this?". She kisses me on the head. My tears are unstoppable. "Just read. Do you want me to stay with you or should I give you some space?" I have to think about it for a while. I look at Valerie. "I have to do this alone". She nods in understanding. She escorts me to the couch. She kneels down in front of me and takes my hands. "If you're looking for me, I'll be in the kitchen. Take all the time you need". I give her a small nod. Valerie kisses me. Then she leaves the living room. I really need a few minutes to recover a bit before I can read the letter.

Dear Mellie,

Happy birthday to us . I can imagine that this is the last thing you would expect today. I'm sorry you haven't heard from me sooner. When we had just left, I tried to contact you. All I had was our old address and your phone number. I didn't have the help to write you a letter then and the phone number was no longer in service.

A month or two ago I was suddenly called into an office. They had a woman on the line who called for me. Valerie van Buren. I think you know her ;) . I was only able to call for five minutes at that point. She explained to me that she was a friend of yours. She gave me her phone number and asked me to call when I was ready. Three days later I called her back. We spent hours on the phone. We even did some facetime. Can you imagine? Me who doesn't see anything is going to facetime. But Valerie wanted to know what I looked like. According to her, we still look like each other like two peas in a pod. Do not worry. I think she thinks you're just a little bit prettier. Judging by her voice and way of talking I'm sure she's beautiful.

After that phone call I thought for a long time what to do. It was immediately clear to me that I wanted to write you a letter. Valerie convinced me to be honest about the past few years. I'll start the day our father dragged me into the car. I had no idea what was going on. In the hour long drive I found out why I hadn't heard from you before and that we were moving, without you. I have screamed and cried. You can imagine how our father reacted to that. Ma, as usual, did nothing to stop him. I don't know how our parents are now. I can't forgive them for taking you out of my life just like that. And that they left you alone.

I was soon sent to a special boarding school. Things quickly went bad there. I went after our father and even worse. I started with alcohol and later drugs. At that time I met Charlie. He has truly been my saving grace. He has made me where I am today. Valerie knows where I am, but I asked her not to tell you. I am in a country far from the Netherlands. I think I need a few more years to get where I want to be. I've been clean for over a year. I'm also finally starting to get a little peace with the fact that I won't be able to see anything for the rest of my life, but I also have a lot of bad days. I hope you understand that I need this time. When I'm ready I'll call you.

Valerie has a wonderful gift for you. I'm sure you don't want to take it. Don't forget you do have a goal, Mellie. You have the sweetest woman by your side that I could wish for you. Valerie is truly exceptional. I've heard her talk about you for hours. There is so much love for you in her that is indescribable. She's your goal, Mellie. That woman deserves to hear you play. That you let her know how much love you have for her in you. I know you love that woman. If you don't, there is something very wrong with you. You will never meet someone who loves you more than what Valerie does. Make sure you make her happy, then you will be too. When we meet again in a few years, I want you to introduce me to her. Then don't let me find out you let her walk away. I may be blind, but I'm still very good with a fly swatter.

I love you to the moon and back ,

Fennie

I put the letter aside and run to the kitchen. Along the way I try to wipe away the tears a bit, but that is an impossible task. They just keep coming. Valerie stands with her back against the counter. She can react just in time when I jump around her neck. I wrapped my legs around her waist. She put her hands under my buttocks to hold up. I kiss her. "Valerie". Kiss." I". Kiss. "Love". Kiss. "You". Kiss. "So". Kiss. "Much". Then I give her a kiss that lasts longer. When I then put my forehead against hers, I see Valerie's tears too. "I love you so much too, Melissa". Valerie's eyes shine and just like mine. We stare at each other for a while. "I'll just go". Startled, I look back. Chloe looks at us with a smile on her face. I can just see that she quickly sheds some tears. "Sorry I didn't know you were there." Valerie turns us around and so I can sit on the counter. "She came to bring your present. She stayed to keep me calm for a bit." I nod understandingly to Valerie and look over her shoulder at Chloe. "You don't have to leave." Valerie grabs my face with both hands. She tries to wipe away my tears. "You're not going to succeed." I say with a smile. She kisses me. "Have you unwrapped your present yet? I shake my head. "I had more important things to do first". That puts a nice smile on Valerie's face. "Chloe, do you want to grab it?". she asks without looking at her sister. Without saying anything, Chloe walks out of the kitchen. "I don't know how to thank you, Val". She rests her forehead against mine. "Play for me". she whispers. At that moment, Chloe re-enters the kitchen.

She puts my present on the dining room table. Then she takes a step back and stands on the other side of the kitchen. I slide off the counter. I take the paper off my violin case. I rub it with trembling hands. I feel Valerie's arms wrap around my waist from behind. "Sorry, I sneaked it out of your bedroom. It's not the same violin. He was too damaged. Rick helped me pick out a good one. He took it apart and rebuilt it. He has used as many parts of Fenna's violin as possible". She says softly as she opens the suitcase with me. I don't think I had the strength to go it alone either. More tears come as soon as I see the violin. Fortunately, Valerie held me tight. I don't think I could have stood on my feet otherwise.

After staring at the violin for a while I turn into Valerie's arms. I kiss her. " I love you". I say as I escort her to a chair. When she sits I focus on my violin again. I take a few deep breaths before picking up the violin. With trembling hands, start playing just something, to get a bit of a feel. I turn to Valerie, who is already in tears. I give her a small smile before I start playing Make you feel my love for her. I don't play it quite perfectly, but I don't think it matters now. As soon as I've played the last note I fell to my knees. I'm throwing out all my tears right now. Valerie quickly comes to me and grabs me tightly. I love her so much. I don't know what I would do without her. She made sure my broken heart is back together piece by piece.