You are my home

Friday, June 2, 2006

Melissa

I was quite afraid to tell Valerie that I live alone, but it has been a great relief. It's Friday evening and as usual Emma and I are with her now. That is now the standard time spent on Friday evening. I hope it will stay that way for a long time. "I talked to my mother. You can start after the summer holidays". I look at Valerie with a smile. " Real?". She nods. "There is only one drawback". I look at her questioningly. " We will have to eat a little later on Friday . It is for the Monday, Wednesday and Friday ". I give her a hug. "Thank you Val. This really helped me a lot." She kisses me on the head. " Your welcome. My mother is also happy with it. She couldn't find anyone. She expects you at her office on Monday". I nod and release Valerie. " What are you talking about?". I look at Emma with a smile. "Valerie has arranged for me to work at school". That also makes Emma smile. " That's good to hear. Then you don't have to worry about that anymore. So glad you told her?" I give her a nod. "I am also glad that you confided in me. I also hope that you will let me know if you need anything or if I can do anything for you". I look at Valerie with a smile. " What?". I shrug. " I'm glad that I've met you". I say very softly. Valerie comes forward and kisses my forehead. "I'm happy about that too. And I already know something I'm going to do for you." I look at her questioningly. "Since you spend almost every lunch break with me, I will bring you lunch". I shake my head. "No, I don't want a discussion. I had already noticed that you never have lunch with you and occasionally take something from Emma. It's no problem for me to prepare something extra every day. So please let me do that for you". I sigh. " Okay". That brings a smile to Valerie. "Is there anything else I can do for you?". I shake my head. "Okay and otherwise I'd like to hear it. I would really like to know where you live and how you do it all". I can tell I'm getting a little irritated now. She doesn't need to know how and where I live. The chances that she will do something about it is great. " That does not matter. I can take care of myself". Valerie continues to look at me for a moment. "You don't sleep on the street, do you?" I shake my head. "I sleep in a storage room and have everything I need there". I say irritated and actually I've already said too much. When I notice she wants to say something again, I grab the remote and put a movie on it.

The tension in the living room is sensible. It says enough that the film has already been underway for at least half an hour and Valerie and I are both still sitting on the ends of the couch. Maybe I shouldn't have been so annoyed with Valerie. I know she means well, but I can't help it. I would also much rather that no one knew. Emma found out on her own after a while. It's a relief that Valerie knows it too, but I hope it doesn't make her look at me differently. I'm just the same Melissa. I don't want her to think I'm pathetic or anything. I'm just so happy to have her as a good friend now and wouldn't want that to change. "Have you planned anything for the holidays yet?". I ask after a while to hopefully remove that tension. "I'm mainly going to work a lot so that next year I can spend the whole holiday with my sister. And the rest of the time, of course, I will bother you". Emma says it laughing. I sigh excessively. "I should have decided to go away for the holidays". Emma throws a pillow at my head. "You will still miss me when I am away for the whole holiday next year". I nod and then look at Valerie. " What are you going to do?". She gives me a small smile. I can see that it takes her a lot of effort.

I slide to her side and snuggle close to her. "Sorry. I just don't like talking about it." I say softly. She wraps her arms around me and kisses my head. "It's all right. I also understand that it is difficult. I just want to help you". I look up and look at her with a smile. "I know that and you already do". She grabs me a little tighter and I snuggle up against her. I've never been a cuddly person, but with Valerie it just feels very natural and good. "Like every year, I am going on holiday for two weeks with my mother and sister". I am glad that Valerie is now leaving it at that and continuing on about the holiday on her own. " Where are you going?". " No idea. It always remains a surprise until the very last moment. My mother arranges everything. My sister and I only have the task of being there on time". I look at her with a smile. " Sounds nice". She nods. "It really is something to look forward to every year. Since my sister and I moved out, we started having a mother-daughter evening on Saturdays. It is still there and we have created it about five years ago. Those two weeks are really all about the three of us together". I love seeing how much it means to Valerie. It also hurts me a little to hear, because I don't have any family anymore. "What are you going to do for the rest of the holiday?". It's Emma who asks. "Furthermore, it is mainly Rose and I". I look at Valerie a bit surprised. "And your husband?". She gives me a small smile. "Sander will probably be working a lot. Since it is the holiday period, he will also be abroad a lot to fill in for his colleagues. He is only free for the two weeks that I am away, so that he can be with Rose". "Don't you find that annoying?" She shakes her head. I don't know what it is between Valerie and her husband, but I'm starting to think it's not a very happy marriage. "Luckily you always have us". Valerie smiles at Emma. "I had indeed planned to spend time with you on a regular basis". I can't help but put a smile on my face.

"Sofia told me that you are finally talking to each other again". Valerie nods to Emma. "I missed her. It's not going completely smoothly yet, but it's a start." I look at Valerie. "This isn't because of me, is it?". She shakes her head. "I never knew or noticed how Sofia feels about certain things. It came as a big shock to me. I'm sure I would never have become friends with her if I had known this right away. But let's get on with the movie now." Emma and I don't go into it any further and it falls silent again. Fortunately, the tension that was there is now gone and I'm lying on the couch with Valerie.