I'm Not Her

Chapter 15: I'm Not Okay

Chapter 15:

"Bye Mum. By Dad." Perrie said, kissing each parent on the cheek. Both had a smile on their face, but I could tell that they didn't want her to go. She was returning to her own superstar life whereas I will stay back in South Shields, probably living with my parents for the rest of my life. "Bye Pen." Perrie said to me. We didn't hug or anything. We just stared at each other before she turned around and left. 

"Did the two of you get into a fight?" Dad asked me. I didn't answer, but merely shook my head. I silently walked back to my room and shut the door behind me, locking it. I ended up sitting on my bed for a while. It didn't take long for me to crack and start crying. 

I saw the pain on Zayn's face when I told him it was over. What he didn't know was that when Perrie shut the door, I mimicked him and collapsed onto the ground with a fit of sobs also. Perrie called me 'emotionally unstable' and 'forever alone' but she was right. I didn't object because what she said was true. 

I had deleted phone numbers from everyone I met in London because...I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to remember the great friends I had made and I didn't want to remember what used to be. I knew I'd get over it, but I also knew that I wouldn't forget the face of my first love. 

Mostly because he kind of is an international superstar that's dating my sister...

I scrolled through my phone and started deleting all the pictures of Zayn and me on it. I winced at every one that I deleted. Tears made their way out of my eyes, dripping onto the surface of my phone. I wiped them away. I could do this. 

"Delete." I whispered. "Delete." I came to the last one and I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was the last memory I had of our relationship. It was the last thing that reminded me that what we had was real. Could I just throw it away?

I managed a small smile as I looked at the picture. It wasn't anything fancy like holding hands in the sunset or some cheesey stuff like that. 

Zayn had stolen my phone and taken a selfie of us on it. I had my sunglasses on and I was laughing. His chapped lips were pressed against my cheeks. One arm was slung around my shoulder while the other snapped the photo.

I decided to keep this one, as a memory. Rememberence of the first person that made me feel different. The person that didn't even know who I was. 

He only knew me as my twin, and that was the sad part.

"Pen honey?" Mum knocked on the door. "Are you alright?"

"Fine Mum." I replied with a sniffle. "Just some allergies. I think I have a cold too."

"Just call me if you need anything sweetie."

"Okay."

Even though it wasn't that late in the day, I crawled right back under the covers and stayed there. For a brokenhearted girl, the bed was the comfiest place to be. I would probably never see Zayn again and if I did, he'd be with Perrie. He'd be with my best friend, also known as my worst enemy. Perrie...the only person that made me wish I had been an only child.

Zayn's P.O.V.

"You've got to get out of bed some time mate." Liam said, shoving me a little with his hand. I groaned and rolled over on the other side, hoping that he would leave me alone. Right when I had gotten back to London from South Shields, I crawled right back into a bed in fetus position. 

Everything hurt. Not physically, but emotionally. It was like Perrie took my heart and ripped out of my chest, leaving me to die. 

Maybe I was being dramatic, but how else was I supposed to react. She dumped me, telling me it was over, killing me from the inside to the outside.