I'm Not Her

Chapter 28: I'm Not Crazy

Chapter 28:

I looked away, feeling more than uncomfortable under his hard gaze. I felt as if his hazel eyes were burning deep down into my soul, and it was terrifying. Niall and Zayn purchased their items and from the corner of my eye, I saw the two boys heading over to where Kylie and I sat. In front of me, the redhead looked like she was about to faint. She took deep breaths and calmed down when the two boys came to a halt next to our table.

"Hey Kylie, Pen," Niall smiled at the two of us. He pulled up a chair from another table and dragged it over so he was next to Kylie. I wouldn't be surprised if she just dropped dead right now. No one seemed to notice her irregular breathing except for me.

Zayn, on the other hand, remained standing. I couldn't read the expression on his face. He was expressionless. His lips were drawn in a tight line and his eyes bore no emotion. Even Edward Cullen wouldn't be able to read his mind. 

"I didn't know you were back in town," Niall commented, towards me. 

"I thought it'd be a good idea to come back to England for the week. I'm going to Perrie's concert here, hang out around London for a little while, and then I'm heading down to South Shields to see my parents for a while before I head back to the states. And Kylie here," I gestured towards Kylie, "couldn't bear to spend her break without me so I just took her with me."

"So what now? Are you gonna make a switch with Perrie here, see if you can take each other's careers?" Zayn smirked. Asshole.

"What is he talking about?" Kylie questioned. I almost forgot that she didn't know anything about our switch. She just knew the basic facts that I had a twin sister and I knew One Direction. I don't believe that I even told her that Zayn and I were ever in a relationship, but that would of course require telling the whole tale of the switch, which was complicated and not worth explaining. 

"You haven't told her yet?" Zayn asked. "What a great friend." His voice dripped sarcasm and all I wanted to do was slap him, but that would cause a scene and I knew somewhere around here, there were paparazzi probably mistakening me for Perrie, which only added to the drama. 

"Zayn," Niall said with warning in his tone.

"What the hell is going on?" Kylie asked.

"I'll explain later," I sighed.

"Why don't you tell her now Pen? Tell her how evil and how manipulative you are. And how much of a liar you are because all you do is lie right? Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie and it just doesn't stop," Zayn snapped. 

I blinked. Once. Twice. Trying desperately not to cry because I wouldn't let Zayn make me cry. No, he wasn't worth the tears. He wasn't worth all this emotion and all this pain. He wasn't worth it.

"Stop," I whispered, "just please stop it. Stop talking, just stop!" And it happened. I let my walls down for a second and let a tear drip from my eye. I quickly grabbed a napkin and dabbed it under my eye. I had to keep telling myself that he wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth my tears. 

"I-I need to go," I said. I got up and pushed my chair in. "Niall, do me a favor and take Kylie back to Danielle's place. I need to...I need to get some air and clear my mind."

"No problem Pen," Niall gave me a half hearted smile.

"Pen-" Zayn started.

I stood in front of him, looking up at him due to our height difference. "I thought you were done telling me that I was lying, that I was wrong, that I was stupid and all that shit. But you weren't right? You werent done making me feel worse than I already feel. You weren't done making me feel like shit. Y-You decided that it was just fine to mess with my heart, to make me cry, to make me feel the same pain you do, but news flash Zayn. I feel worse."