I'm Not Her

Chapter 14: I'm Not In Love With You

Chapter 14:

Zayn's P.O.V.

"I don't remember the last time he ate..." Liam worriedly said. Yes, he was protective, but he just needed to get off my back. He had been heartbroken once. Why couldn't he understand that all I wanted to do was be left alone and mope. 

"He's been in bed for the past week. I think he only gets up to pee." Louis muttered. "What a freak. Imagine how bad he smells." Trust Louis to make a bad situation a bit better. 

It was funny that the four of them in my bedroom thought I was asleep because I wasn't. I was awake, but all I could think about was Perrie. How her perfect blonde hair framed her pale face. Her smile igniting the room. How her laugh would make my day and always make me smile. How her touch always sent tingles throughout my entire body.

Why did she leave? What did I do wrong? I loved her goddammit. Couldn't she see that? Or was it the fact that she didn't love me make her leave. How could someone look so genuine fake something that I thought was surely real. 

Maybe she acted out the part because of the contract. She probably felt the need to act like she liked me...or even loved me. I was a fool to believe her little scheme, but that just made me want her even more. I wanted to find her, but she didn't answer my calls or texts. I was desperate to hear her voice, feel her touch, see her smile. I wanted her. 

"Get up you lazy bum." Niall said and shook me back and forth. I groaned, grabbed a pillow, and put it over my head to block them out. Too bad they knew I was indeed, not asleep. I wanted to be left alone. 

"I know you're hurting, but things'll turn out better!" Harry tried. He had never been in a serious relationship so why should I even take him seriously? That's it. I wouldn't.

"If no one here in this room is Perrie, then I refuse to get up." I mumbled. That was the first I had spoken in a while. My mouth was dry and my voice was raspy. What a mess I must look like. My hair was probably all fluffy and weird and my breath probably smelled like some nasty toxic gas. 

"Fine." Liam said firmly. "We'll force you to get your lazy ass off this bed." Wait what? That was when I felt hands clamp around my ankled and pull me out of bed. I was too lazy and too tired to fight so I hit the ground with a thud. I just lay there because it was more comfortable than actually getting up and walking. 

"This isn't healthy, Zayn." Louis said. "There will be the day that you become fat and the joke's on you. The least you could do is get up and find her you little prick." Louis said and lightly kicked the side of my body, which seemed to be dead. 

But I hated to admit that Louis was right. What good was I doing? I had been lying around all day and feeling sorry for myself when I could be out looking for her. Who cared if she didn't love me? I wanted answers before I would be able to move on. That was just it. I couldn't move on without her telling me what I did wrong. What was wrong with me. Plus, being fat wasn't exactly something I was looking forward to.

"Is he getting up?" Harry asked with excitement in his voice. 

"About time." Niall muttered. "Maybe we should put some-"

"We're not putting any alcohol in his system, Niall. A brokenhearted drunk is exactly what we don't need looming around the London streets." Liam scolded. What a dad. I already felt sorry for his kids who would have an overprotective father later on.

I got up and stood on my feet. "Why did she have to leave?" I whispered. I couldn't help it, but a tear ran down my cheek. She was my everything and it took forever for me to realize that. And she was gone.