I'm Not Her

Chapter 30: I'm Not Going Inside

Haha, someone told me I was a f*cking b*tch on the last chapter. Screw you! :)

Oh, and @couldntcareless interviewed me the other day so check it out! Here's the link: http://www.wattpad.com/18695798-interview-book-interview-with-lovelost123#.Ubi5YjBBmf4

Okay, almost done. Thank you guys so much for reading! I'm nearly at 1 million reads! :D

Chapter 30:

I didn't respond to the kiss. It took me longer than I expected for me to process what was actually going on and what was happening at the moment. I stumbled back a couple of steps and stared wide eyed at Zayn. My heart thumped against my chest til the point where it actually hurt to breathe. We looked at each other for the longest time until I realized we were standing in the middle of the sidewalk in the pouring rain.

"No," I whispered, more to myself than to Zayn. What hapened shouldn't have happened. I wasn't saying that I didn't enjoy it, but I knew that it was wrong in so many ways. Zayn was an asshole, one hundred percent, and didn't even deserve my forgiveness, yet I didn't deserve his. That was one of the reasons that was totally out of place and unnessary.

Second of all, I was already in a relationship. If there were any cameras or paparazzi, my newly found reputation would be crushed. I was a rising star and the last thing I needed was for people to think I was scandalous, a slut, and cheating.

And the drama would get worse once they realized that I was Perrie's sister, Zayn's ex-girlfriend's sister. What would happen then? I couldn't imagine the possibilities.

"Pen-"

"Zayn, get away from me," I said, loud and clearly so there was no way he didn't hear me right. I looked him dead in the eye and told him to get away from me.

"After that? Penelope, please. You've got to-"

"I'm not here in London for you, Zayn. I'm here for my sister and this was not intended to happen. I was trying to avoid seeing you here. Don't you get it? Zayn, I didn't kiss you back."

"What are you going to do now? Run back to ol' Carter, waiting for you back home in California where he's probably cheating on you right this second?" Zayn snapped.

"I'm going to do what I came here for, Zayn," I snarled, "I'm gonna see my sister in concert and I'm going to see my family. Then yes, I'm going back to California where my boyfriend is waiting for me. Stop making assumptions about him. Hell, you haven't even met the guy. Shut up and deal with it."

"Well I've seen him before," he said as a lame excuse, "he looks like the type that won't stay in a long term relationship. He's nothing but trouble."

"He volunteers at an animal shelter when he's not acting!" I said. "Is that what you call trouble?"

"I bet that's all bullshit," Zayn scoffed.

"I should've trusted my instincts when I told myself that I'd rather walk in this freezing rain than stay over at your flat. I made a huge mistake."

"So are you just going to walk in the rain like this? You are going to get sick Pen, I swear. I'm sorry, please come back. I don't want you to get sick-"

"Screw you!" I yelled. "Let me get sick, I don't care."

"You know, I don't think I could handle being the reason you catch pneumonia so please, just come inside. I'll leave you alone and you can take the bed and then you can leave when the rain stops or something. Just please get inside before you freeze. Look, you're already shivering," Zayn pleaded.