Sturniolo Triplets Oneshots (mainly Matt)

Matt almost commits

TW: attempts of suicide, mental health issues, and self harm

Matt POV

Life has been sucking lately. And I mean a lot. Even though I live with my brothers, I still feel so alone. I've lost so many friendships over these past months while my brothers are always going out every night with their friends. I don't even remember the last time we all spent a night together. Every night I'm so alone and it feels like I'm losing my brothers too. Not to mention, all the comments I've been receiving lately.

"Matt is getting fatter"

"Matt is way too skinny"

"Matt's always too quiet. Just kick him off the channel"

"Matt's needs to shut up"

It's like everything I do, I get hate. But why do I never see any of those comments about Chris or Nick? I started to hate filming videos or posting on social media. I haven't posted anything new on my socials for over 2 months. It feels like no one likes me. No one likes being around me. I haven't had a regular conversation with anyone for weeks. 

It seems like none of my family members even care too. My brothers are always busy with someone else and when I try to talk with my parents, they're already talking with Chris, Nick, or Justin. And whenever I do tell them that I've been feeling alone and sad, they just say to get over it. No one cares. No one likes me. No one ever gives a shit about me. So what's the point in living?

Later that night

"BYE MATT. ME AND NICK ARE GOING OUT" Chris yelled from the front door.

Before I could yell a "bye" back, I heard the door shut. I sighed as I was now alone once again. They didn't even asked if I wanted to come. They never ask. They used to before, but then they stopped asking after I kept on saying no. They just don't want me here anymore, do they.

I decided to just watch some YouTube. I opened my laptop to see that the first recommended video was the video my brothers and I posted yesterday. I didn't get a chance to watch it yet so I clicked on it. My first initiative was to scroll down to the comments. And yet again, they were all about me.

"Matt is so fucking quiet now. Wtf"

"Aww to poor matty boy emo now? Grow tf up"

"Nick or Chris, if you're reading this, tell Matt to go kys. And if you're reading this Matt, go kys"

I stared at that last comment. I stared at it for a long time. I've received very hateful and cruel comments before but I was never told to kys. I continued to state that it. I could feel tears forming in my eyes then falling down my face. Do people really want me dead? Yk what, fuck it. Fuck my life.

I got up from my bed and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed a large kitchen knife and brought it to my room. Once I entered, I took off my hoodie, leaving me only in a black tank top and revealing all my scars, cuts, and burns. Ever since I've been feeling down, I started cutting and burning myself. No one ever knew and I continued to use that method as a coping mechanism.

I stood in the middle of my room with the knife in my hand. I slowly rose it so it was hovering right above my throat. I stood like that for a couple minutes contemplating. 

"Is this a good idea?"

"Will I just look selfish for even doing this?"

"Would anyone even care?"

I paused. No. No one would care. No one would probably even notice that I was gone. Me dying would make no impact, just like how I do right now. It'll probably create satisfaction to people. Nothing would change and I'll probably be in a better place so... might as well end it.