Chasing You

chapter 7: i miss you so much

Forth spent his whole day in his room, staring at the picture of Beam sent by his brother earlier. Lying in the bed talking alone.

"I miss you Beamie, i hope i can get a chance to talk to you but i guess it's impossible for now." He said while having a deep sigh. " I wish I could say sorry to you and tell you that I regretted all of that." He continues and a teardrop falls from his left eye. 

He cried, yes. Forth cried so many times every time he thought of Beam since he realized his true feelings for Beam. He wanted to follow Beam to Korea and confess his feelings but Beam's parents and his parents also forbid him to see Beam. They said that it is for their own good, since they are both young they should focus on their studies for now and there is time for everything. But damn, his loneliness is killing him every single day. No day nor time that he didn't think of Beam. Beam is in his system 24/7.

Forth is lost in his thoughts and didn't hear his mom knock on his door.

"Forth, son dinner is ready." His mom said and approached him on the bed. His mom saw him shedding tears while holding his phone staring at the picture. His mom sat beside him and wiped his tears. He was startled and immediately got up.

"Mom..how long have you been in here?" He asked.

"While ago…I knocked but you didn't answer so I came in." His mom said. "You're crying again." She said

Forth immediately wiped his eyes and hid his face from his mother.

"Don't hide it baby, I know what you feel." 

He faced his mother. "I' m sorry mom, I heard Beam is back here in Thailand. I want to see him but I don't know how to face him. I miss him so much mom."

"Son, don't worry too much, ok and have courage to face Beam, just tell him what you really feel for him, and this time we are not going to forbid you to see him." 

"Really mom, what about Auntie and uncle?"

"Don't worry about them, they agreed also. So you don't need to worry, hmm." Forth smile widely. "So let's go, dinner is ready, your Phis are waiting for you, I guess Tharn has something to tell you." His mom winks at him.

He smiles and comes with his mother. At the dining table his whole family is there waiting for them. 

"Ok let's eat." His dad said

They began to eat silently when his father broke the silence.

"Beam is back." He said and he looked at Forth "and this time, make everything right between you two." He ordered to Forth

"Yes dad." He said

"Ahm mom, dad. Auntie Belle and Uncle Ben want to invite us for dinner this coming saturday." Tharn said

"Ok, we will all go." Said David

"Ok dad,. I'll inform Auntie Bern, tomorrow Uncle Ben will be discharged from hospital." Said Tharn

"Ok, i am so glad that he is ok now." Said David.

During the discussion, Forth felt a bit nervous when he heard that they will all go to Vongphipan's residence which is a few steps away from their house. The fact that he will definitely see Beam there makes him super nervous.

At the Vongphipan mansion.

Thea and Beam together with their grandparents are having their dinner. Bern and Thype are in the hospital with Ben.

"Baby, do you know that mom and dad plan to have a dinner party on saturday?" Said Thea

"Ow really Phi?" -Beam and Thea nods

"Yes, your father wants to celebrate his second life indeed." Grandpa said and chuckled and they all smiled.

"And ofcourse, they want to celebrate your homecoming sweety." His grandmother said

"Aw,.grandma there's no need to celebrate that." Said Beam shaking his head

"Oh, why not. As if you don't know your father, he is so happy that you finally go back home." His grandpa said

"Beam baby,we are all happy that you come back, we miss our baby Beamie so much." Said Thea and holds her younger brother's hand. And Beam got teary eyes.

"I miss you all too." He said and hug his sister

"Ow, before I forgot." Said Thea abruptly  "mom and dad said that you can invite all your friends."

"Ok, but I only have two friends anyway." Said Beam and continued to eat. 

Thea looked at her brother intently before she spoke again. "Mom and dad also invite the Jamurnhorn, they will all be here including….Foth." she said

For a second Beam stops his eating and a shock can be seen in his face and later on he releases a deep sigh. "Well Phi, I can't do anything about that, Mom and dad were friends with them after all." He said and shrugged his shoulders.

"Are you sure about that baby? Are You ready to face him?" Asked Thea,worriedly.

Beam looked at his sister and smiled. "Don't worry too much Phi, I am a grown man now, I am sure I can handle that….hmmm." he said

"Ok. If you said so." Said Thea

"Don't worry too much Sweety, Beam is ok now." Their grandmother said  " He is brave now and full of confidence, he can make it." She continues and Thea and Beam smile. 

They all went to their room after dinner. In his room, after he takes a bath he sits down on his bed wearing only his robe, he remembers what his grandmother said earlier. Is he really brave enough to face Forth? That is the question that lingers in his mind when he hears a rustle of wind, he looks to his right and he sees that the door to his balcony is open. He immediately stands up and about to close the door when he also remembers that his balcony door is facing the balcony of Forths room. He slowly lifts his eyes and he looks toward the other part and there he sees the man he avoided for years, the reason why he left Thailand and the man who gave him so much pain, standing at the balcony intently looking back at him. 

They stare with each other, he doesn't know why but Beam sees the loneliness in the man's eyes. And he got startled when Forths mouthed the words "i miss you so much".

His senses back because of that and he immediately closes the door and covers it with the curtain. He clenched his heart to stop it from beating but it didn't help. The word that Forth said still keeps playing in his mind.

"No, it can't be, don't make a fool out of yourself Beam, it is just your imagination." He told himself and do his very best to sleep just to forget about what happened earlier.

Even in his sleeps,. The words keep coming back. He toss and turn, unable to find a better position to make him sleep to forget that.