Charades

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

Ahiras POV

My eyes open to the white ceiling above me, I don't move a limb and inhale the scent of the cold winter air. The dream I had reminded me of last year:

I was in the psych ward for quite a while, it was odd seeing people enter and leave while I was almost stagnant with my progress. I'm mostly clean now and I'm proud that I'm less reliant on my habits, the urges come and go but I have yet to give in to them. It's honestly ridiculous when I think about it, I have a runaway mother, a drunk father and an addiction to pain.

But at least we have money right?

It's ironic. With all the money we have these kinds of problems still fuck people over in the same way. Rich or poor, addiction and fear can eat someone whole and take them captive in their own body.

But, last year is something I can't recall back to vividly. My psychiatrist told me I've given myself amnesia she calls it dissociative amnesia but, I believe it's commonly known as trauma blocking. At first, I tried hard to forget about everything once I came out. But, day by day it was getting harder to recall events from the past without even trying.

A part of me wonders how I behaved back then, the other half wants nothing to do with the past version of me.

I exhale a large breath before sitting up, the air scratches my dry throat in every wrong way possible. So quietly, I shut the door behind me and headed downstairs into the kitchen, perhaps some water could fix this issue.

By no surprise, I see Silas. Does that boy ever sleep?

"Why do you look so happy?" my eyes raise in suspicion.

He smiles even wider but, his eyes seem tired. His clothes are wrinkled and he sits quietly on the kitchen island. The lights illuminate his blue eyes that look into mine with warmth.

"It's turned into our thing to meet in the middle of the night," he mentions.

"Guess so," I reply before getting a cup from the cabinet and filling it with ice.

I'm trying to erase any thoughts of last night, hopefully, he can too. I don't know what he felt but, I want to move on. Moreover, I don't believe he would ask such questions outright to me, he's annoying, but not the kind of guy to ask uncomfortable questions.

"Why did you leave so abruptly last night?" He asks.

My mind goes blank, I can't even think of a lie good enough to say in this empty room.

"I wasn't feeling well," I avoid his eyes.

As I fill the cup with water from the fridge I bump into his lean build. I turn and look at him patiently.

"Are you gonna move?" I ask.

"No," he replies shortly.

I feel him cup my cheeks before lowering his face to meet mine. Electricity builds within my veins, my heart beats faster in my chest, and our magnetic gaze doesn't falter for a second. Just as his lips meet mine, I swerve the kiss completely.

"We can't Silas," I mutter into the silence.

"You're saying that as if you weren't flirting with me a few hours ago," he lays his hands on my waist putting me in place.

I place the cup down, it makes a loud thud before I forcefully move myself away from him.

"I won't ruin everything I have by breaking the only rule I share with my friends. I'm not stupid to choose temporary feelings over companionship," my voice unintentionally raises.

Silas himself was too frustrating to deal with but in the middle of the night? Even worse.

"I don't understand why you're suppressing your feelings over a silly pact you've already broken!" He raises his arms in frustration before pacing around the kitchen.

I ignore his last remark and watch his hands clench into fists. I have nothing else to say but, Silas looks like he has a lot on his mind.

"The only reason this isn't working is because of you," he points towards me.

"This is why you piss me off can you not handle a girl saying no for once? Or has dating Bea made your ego that high?" I fire back angrily.

Unexpectedly, Silas pulls me in even closer.

His warm lips ravenously smother mine. I tilt my head to the left as I deepen the kiss, the world becomes silent again. Small pecks turn into long strokes from his tongue. We die down to a smooth rhythm. His hands feel every inch of my body before returning to cup my breasts, a small moan escapes from my mouth.

Without any warning, Silas breaks our kiss and stares into my eyes. He's angry.

"If you hated me as much as you say you do, you would've never kissed me back, you would've never let me touch you and you would've never fucking moaned at the smallest piece of body contact. Don't tell me that shit ever again," he finishes with a firm tone.

He glares at me one last time before leaving me in the kitchen alone.

I hold myself back from saying anything else that could anger him because he's right. But I want to be him wrong so bad. Harshly, I sigh before walking to my room with a secure grip around my cup. My lips feel tingly even after the kiss, I hate that he has such a large effect on me.

I take a few gulps of water and sigh as the cold liquid relieves my throat. Slowly, I snuggle up into the duvet covers, hoping tonight would never happen again.

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wohoo I'm back everyone, next chapter coming in a few days :)