I really want you to hate me

Chapter 11

Daniella

After I heard the front door close, for a moment I wanted to rip my sheets off of the bed and throw them away. Burn them. But I wasn't stupid. I was aware of the fact this was most likely the last time she was in my room. Naked, between my sheets. The whole room smelled like her, her scent filled my nose.

I had no doubt that last night was the best night of my life, like absolutely the best. And it wasn't just the sex, although that was amazing, mind blowing. I had multiple orgasms and she didn't even touch me. It was the fact that when I woke up before her, she was wrapped around me. Or I was wrapped around her. Our feet tangled together, her head was on my chest and I held her close by her waist. For a moment, just before I pulled away I felt peace. Like when all the sounds and voices in your head disappear. But I pulled away, eventually. I wasn't a cuddler or a hugger. I didn't want her to wake up with me around her and think that She would get any sweetness out of this "relationship". So I pulled away, curling up on the other side of the bed,acting like I didn't notice when she left the room.

I knew that I should not sleep with her. It complicated the already complicated things. It shouldn't be that good when she kissed me and my heart shouldn't swell when she came with my name on her lips.

My heart raced, when I walked down and saw her just chatting with my Mom, about me. And when Max arrived with the black eye she got from me last night I felt genuinely happy for a moment. He wanted to take what was mine. Maybe she wasn't entirely mine, but she certainly wasn't his or anyone else. She was either mine or no one's. Whether she liked it or not. Mine to torture, mine to destroy, mine to fuck. Only mine.

~

On Monday, the last week of my time in the library started. I didn't know which Rebekah I would meet. Especially after the weekend. Either she would act bitchy or she would be weird about it. Awkward. I didn't know which one of the two options I would like. I didn't know which one I would be.

She was already sitting behind a desk with a book in her hand. She tensed when I arrived, but she didn't look up.

"Good morning." Bekah whispered quietly.

"Good morning you too, blondie." I smiled, taking a seat directly next to her.

"There are plenty of other seats in the room." She suggested, still not looking at me. Her blonde hair fell into her face, her eyes jumped between the lines of the books, legs bouncing fast.

So adorable.

I grabbed her knee, stopping her movement. She looked up, staring at the wall in front of her.

"What are you doing?" Really. What am I doing?

"I don't know." That was the truth. I didn't know why I was doing what I was doing. I didn't know the finish line. But I wanted to do that. To touch her. She wore a light blue jean, and a white tank top. The total opposite of my all black outfit. My hand started to run upper on her thigh. She sucked in a breath and looked at me finally. Her usual blue eyes seemed all dark now.

"This shouldn't happen again between us."

"Yes. It shouldn't." But it probably will.

"I'm not..." She was searching for words, her hand coming up on mine, stopping my movements.

"Gay?" I asked leaning closer. Her breath hit my lips, her cheek flushed. She nodded silently.

"I don't like you. I hate the way you make me feel." She let go of my hand, and when she didn't stop me, I started to move it again. Upper and upper until I reached the top of her thigh.