Lockdown | Harry Styles | AU

Chapter 45

Harry hadn't drank hard liquor in a very long time.

In all honesty, he hadn't even thought about wanting to. He just simply hadn't felt that usual urge to get wasted, the urge to forget everything.

He hadn't snorted, swallowed or knocked back anything toxic for over 18 months, not even painkillers. The hardest he'd gone recently is the occasional glass of wine at a social event.

Because he hadn't wanted to do anything more, he didn't need to. He was just happy being sober.

But oh how quickly things can change, because right now, Harry was currently pouring himself a few fingers of whiskey from the hotel mini bar. The action so natural it was as if he never stopped, like he wasn't throwing away 2 years of sobriety.

After his huge bender following his break up with Aubrey resulted in his heart stopping for a few seconds and involved him having to have his stomach pumped, it was the scare Harry needed to finally calm down.

So when he left the hospital and checked himself into rehab, for once, he actually took it seriously. He realised that he needed to get to bottom of his addictions. He couldn't go on like this anymore, he couldn't keep abusing his body just to deal with the things he didn't want to.

He didn't want to be that actor who died of an overdose.

But understandably, it was hard at first, not just the getting sober part but staying sober. Especially when all he could think about was Aubrey. Just the image of her in his mind made his heart ache so much he wanted to black out from the pain.

For months Aubrey infested Harry's every waking thought, and at night she haunted his dreams.

He was obsessed.

Never before had a girl come along and made him feel like this. He had never missed someone this much. He had never felt so bruised and wounded without someone before. He had never felt such grief after a parting.

Her betrayal had killed him without taking his life.

It made him sick and depressed.

He honestly thought he'd never feel happiness ever again...

Aubrey had been this intriguing and spectacular thing that had wondered into his life and absolutely floored him. She bubbled and thought provoked. She was warm and fun, sexy and soft. She was hot, sweet. Wildly intelligent and funny as hell.

She made Harry tingle with excitement and fear.

He wanted to fuck her until they were old and grey, and then fuck her some more.

He could have talked to her until there weren't any words left in the universe.

He loved that he never knew what she was going to say next...

But with time, the pain of being without Aubrey eventually eased for Harry. His memories of her becoming more distant and foggy. He even started to see the bad signs in their relationship that he never noticed before. The insecurities and doubts, the jealousy.

And, after a while, it just got easier to live without her. He realised he could go on without her. His anguish just felt... lighter.

Then after finally coming to terms with his sobriety and his traumatic end with Aubrey, Harry met Dakota.

He fell in love with her... Sober love. Which was a completely new thing for him altogether.

His head was clear, body clean, and for once he fantasied of a quiet and content future. One that was brimming with marriage, a suburban home and maybe even kids.