"I tried to live in black and white but I'm so blue"
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Cielle has lived the entirety of her life being cornered to pick a side or a sign to define who she is. But what if for once she wanted no rule or definition, and no bearing to her muchness?
...
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"I've learned to live through you"
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Cielle wasnearly limping by the time she made it back. Stumbling at the front porch of her house she looked down at her hands, calloused because of reasons more than one or the fact that she still hasn't stopped climbing the tree her mother would take her to as a child.
It was moments like these, where she dearly missed the latter, longed her breath beside her, desperately hoping her arms would tackle her from the back and swing her in the air.
It was moments like these, when she realised she was actually gone.
The girl liked to admit she never really got over her mother's passing. Everyone mourned, grieved, visited her with the hope that maybe, just maybe they'd be able to see a glimpse of Lily in her, but there was none of her left. Was that so bad? To not find the warmth you're looking for in another?
Perhaps the only way she convinced herself to feel okay was because this warmth never belonged to her from the very beginning.
Lily was the thread that held them together in one place, but she was cut short before Cielle had the chance to weave herself into her warmth with her.
Now there were scraps of fabrics lying around in the caverns of her being.
Fabrics she wouldn't dare admit she had the right to blanket onto her, fabrics she wouldn't dare admit she needed, to patch herself up.
Winter was evergreen.
She wiped the tears welling up in her eyes and took a deep breath, shaking off her thoughts as she approached to knock the door.
She could see James' face peering in slowly from the opening, almost wary of who'd been behind the door, it took him a second to take in Cielle's appearance.
He widened his eyes lunging forward, "goodness my what have you done?!" He dipped in for a hug, resting her head on his shoulder as his hand rested on her back. He slowly pulled her back, trying to get a look at the bruise on her cheek.
"You know the usual, climb down the ol' buckeye, landing a fall or two, purposely bashing my head into the lockers at school- scratch that, not purposely, it was more like Myers tripped my leg and I was about to cling onto him for dear life but it seems the man had other plans in mind." She shrugged, gesturing to her body.
James sighed, "now what did I say about taking it easy hm? come on get yourself in there." He grimaced at the thought of gripping her by her bruise so he decided to shove her inside with her back.
