Love On Ice?

Levanter.

(Alternate songs for this chapter are Only Love Can Hurt Like This Slowed Version by Paloma Faith and Nothing Breaks Like A Heart by Miley Cyrus)

I let his chin go after, not saying anything. My anxiety was creeping its way back in. I couldn't be seen with him. Not again. I lost the smile I had, and he looked away before looking back at me. "Are you alright, mate?" He asked, a bit concerned. "Yeah, I'm fine. I should get going." I replied, rubbing the back of my neck. "So soon?" He asked softly and I nodded. He looked down but said nothing else. I pulled my jacket back on as I left, lighting another cigarette. 

I leaned on my car and closed my eyes, feeling the cold nipping at my skin. I heard footsteps but didn't look. "So that's it then?" A deep voice asked me and I sighed but looked down. Felix was watching me. "You tell me, Felix. Do you really want to risk fans because of me? Do you really want to lose everything you and everyone else worked for....for a relationship that may not even last?" I swallowed. 

"How do you know unless you try? And....as for everything else...." He drifted off, looking away, his hands in his pockets. "Exactly what I mean. You guys are my idols and if you couldn't make music anymore, especially if it was because of me, I could never forgive myself." I say softly and looked away, fighting tears. He didn't know what to say but I heard fast footsteps and soon arms were wrapped around me. I half peered and black hair was buried in my neck. "Please....Please Cole...don't go..." was muttered into my neck. I looked at Felix and he looked about to cry as well. "Nothing we ever said was a lie. It'll kill me if you leave me now...please don't go. I adore you too much..." the voice in my neck muttered again. I slowly lifted their head and it was a teary-eyed Changbin.

"I wouldn't let anyone lose their jobs. Just please...please come back."  He half begs. "We knew who you were for a long time, Colton. We actually watch figure skating in our free time....because of you. That's why we offered to do the show at the competition. To finally....have the chance to meet you." Felix sighs and soon Chan comes out. I was still in thought about that revelation when he did. "Didn't I tell you guys to stay in the car?" Chan fussed and then finally noticed Changbin clinging to me. "You can't force him if he doesn't want to come back, guys. I don't blame him. He's got a career he could lose too thanks to this." He sighed, feeling a bit disappointed too.

"I was gonna quit." I blurt and cover my mouth, causing everyone to look at me and Changbin to pause his crying. "You....you were gonna quit?" Felix asks. I looked away but nodded. "If you saw the netizen's comments on the post...I fear for my life, because I know saesangs are that crazy." I said quietly. They all looked down and Changbin hugs me tighter like he was afraid if he let go, then I'd disappear.  "Then something needs to be done to protect you." Changbin muttered, burying into my chest again. "You guys shouldn't *have* to be worried about me. I should be able to handle myself." I slowly and scaredly pet Changbin's hair. "That's exactly the thing, Cole. We *want* to protect you. It doesn't matter if we *shouldn't* be worried about you. We are." Chan sighs.

"Everyone misses you, you know. Even Seungmin." Felix shifted a bit. "Especially Han. He hated he had to do that to you. We all did." Chan frowned, sticking his hands in his pockets. "And besides...we want you to guest in the video of the song you helped Changbin write." Felix says and Chan nods in agreement. "You....you want me to...really?" I ask and they nod. I look down at Changbin and he was peering at me with those dark brown eyes. They were the only thing visible between my coat and his hair. "Please don't say no, Cole..." he spoke muffled. I looked away.

It was hard to let them go when everywhere I went or anything I did reminded me of them. And they themselves were making it near impossible too. I know it seems overdramatic considering it's only been a day, but time dragged on while I was wallowing in my self-doubt earlier. So it felt like longer. After a bit of silence, Chan sighed. "We should get back before Minho burns down the kitchen." He says and Felix hung his head a bit. Chan struggled a bit to get Changbin to let go. Changbin was nothing if not resilient. "C'mon, Bin, he made his decision. We have to respect it." He says and Changbin whined.

"Noooo. I don't want to accept it!" He almost cried, making me almost cry again. Hearing this hurt my heart. It's not that I made my decision, it's that I didn't know what decision to make. Chan eventually gets Bin away and they all leave and I just let out all my frustration through tears. My cigarette went out long ago. I ended up crying for a solid two hours. I was honestly lost and wished I had someone to tell me what to do. I looked up at the sky and watched the stars for a bit. The night sky had always been a comfort to me. Perhaps it'd offer an answer? I looked around it for a bit before landing my focus on a super bright star. I watched it for a bit and the more I looked, the more I noticed...there were eight little stars around it. There was my sign, I guess.

So I made up my mind. No matter what came our way...I was willing to give it a try. It would hurt both parties less. And as for the possible threats, it was nothing I couldn't handle if I calmed down. I took a few slow, deep, breaths and climbed into my car. I drove for a bit trying to remember from my fuzzy, dazed memory. I eventually found it, but it was dark. Were they not there? This was stressful. I parked and got out, looking around a bit first before spotting a singular light on, on the second floor. I sighed and scaled the house, propping myself on the window frame to where I wouldn't fall since it opened inwards.

I swallowed and took a breath before knocking on the window and seeing a singular shadow move slightly on the inside before seemingly standing and wandering over. They opened the curtain and looked surprised to see me there, the wind blowing my hair almost into my face as I looked at them. They almost started crying as they opened the window. I didn't even fully get in the window before they pulled me into them, scared to let go. I just hugged back, petting their hair.