Mind Games - Win or Lose

Chapter - 10

Mature content between the ****

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Eda thought about his words as they drove home. Serkan was so open and honest about his feelings. She was starting to get more and more frustrated with herself that she hadn't remembered more. Yes she had some memories but she knew that they were tiny compared to her whole life. She had no memories of her childhood or first meeting Serkan, their first kiss or first making love to him. She didn't have memories of being pregnant with Kiraz or giving birth to her and she wanted that. She wanted to be the Eda in the pictures. She wanted that life and those memories. She would take the joy and the pain because that's what life was.

Serkan wondered what was going through Eda's head, she had been quiet since getting back from his parents' house. She was working on a drawing and he was spending time with Kiraz, on the surface it seemed normal but he knew that she was bothered by something. He would wait until after Kiraz went to bed to try to talk with her.

He got up from the sofa picking up Kiraz, "I'll do bath time tonight."

Eda watched as he picked her up, "Are you sure? I can do it."

"You've been taking care of her non-stop. Relax, I've got this. I'll bring her down to say good night before I put her to bed."

She smiled, "Okay, thank you." Eda looked at her rendering, she was just about done with it. There was something that was missing but she didn't know what it was so she thought that she would ask Serkan after Kiraz was in bed. She sat at the table and stared out at the sea, it had started raining softly about an hour earlier making the sky darker. Eda thought that it fit her mood.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear Serkan come down with Kiraz until they were right behind her. Eda stood up to take her sweet smelling child into a hug and kiss whispering sweet good nights and I love you into her ears before handing her back to Serkan. Eda went into the kitchen and poured a glass of wine and took it out onto the patio along with the throw blanket from the sofa. She started the fireplace and waited for Serkan to come back downstairs to join her.

Serkan jogged downstairs after Kiraz was in bed, he saw that Eda had moved outside and turned on the fireplace. Stepping outside he also saw that she had gotten him a glass of wine, whatever she had been thinking about she was ready to talk. He set the monitor on the table and went to sit down. Eda opened up the blanket so he could join her, she sat forward so that he could put his arm around her.

He reached down for his wine, taking a sip before saying, "Are you going to tell me why you got so quiet today?"

"Why do you think I'm not getting my memories back? It's been over a month and I've only gotten a small handful. There is so much of my life that I know nothing about. Yes I read the album but it's to the point where it isn't enough. I want to remember my life with you, I want to remember being pregnant with Kiraz and giving birth to her, holding her for the first time," tears of frustration were rolling down Eda's face.

"I don't know honey. If I could wave a magic wand and bring them all back for you I would. Do you want to ask me questions? I'll answer anything that you ask me," he would, even the tough parts.

Eda turned putting her legs over his so she was facing him, "How did we meet?"

Serkan smiled, "I was a speaker at a graduation event, you attended with Fifi, Ceren and Melo not as a graduate though. ArtLife had given you a scholarship to finish your last year in Italy and then rescinded it. I didn't know about it at the time, I returned from London only that morning. You challenged me at the event. You were fire and righteous indignation. I was fascinated. I was in my car in the parking lot trying to find out about the scholarship when you came across the car, you decided to key it and then write something on it in lipstick. When I approached you to find out who you were you handcuffed me. There was a set of handcuffs in my car as part of an engagement invitation. We spent the next three hours handcuffed together. You even helped to land a major business deal for me while we were handcuffed. The whole time I didn't know your name, I called you Peri."