Maybe Tomorrow

Chapter 8 - Alexandra

I lied. About many things.

For the past week I have pretended to be sick to avoid any confrontation with Charlotte. I ate only when Agatha brought me food. I saw my family only when they came to find me in my chamber. I completely isolated myself from everyone surrounding me to keep my desire hidden.

Until she decided to march into my room unannounced.

Or rather with a knock but I was awaiting my maid when she got back with the ink I requested. No one else was supposed to come visit me. Especially The Queen of England.

But then I turned around and there she stood with her long red hair pulled to one side, revealing the soft skin of her neck along with the blue lines under her pale skin, a smile on her face and in a beautiful dress.

At first I wanted to dig a hole through the floor and crawl out of the room on all fours if I had to. After what almost happened at the lake, I had to keep away from her. I didn't want to feel the way I did around her. But she made me feel good. Her presence did. It didn't feel weird between us that day as I thought it might.

I thought she would hate me. I pushed The Queen away from me with force. What person wouldn't be offended? She just tried to help me calm down and when my mind got filled with unnatural situations, I pushed her away. I would hate it if I was just trying to help someone.

She didn't mention a word about what might have happened or about how I pushed her away. She only asked about how I was feeling, completely ignoring the tension that poured between us at the lake and it made me feel guilty.

And I was. Guilty of lying as you can see.

Everything in that moment felt...natural. For a moment I forgot about anything I have been told and screamed at in my life and enjoyed Charlotte's company.

We actually laughed together. Laughed. I would have never imagined myself being in my assigned chamber with Charlotte, The Queen of- no, a woman I feel a pull towards, and having to bend over from laughing too hard.

If someone told me this would happen, I would have laughed just as hard at them and their silly jokes.

I didn't believe all the rumours about her. I expected her to be one of the snobs with her nose pointing up towards the sky all the time as she looks down on people from above. Someone who will give you dirty looks for the smallest mistakes you make. She changed my opinion of her in mere moments of meeting her and as much as I tried to push down the feelings that have awoken inside me, I still admired her.

And today I get to see the city with my mother, Nicholas and her.

She has offered us a ride through the most memorable destinations in London. We rode through numerous streets, the people around us sometimes waving as they recognized a royal carriage being led through the streets with two other carriages both in front of and behind it. We never stepped out of it due to the risk of harm to Charlotte anywhere we went but we stopped for a minute or two while she talked about each place we admired.

I am not used to how many people look our way. How many heads turn when we pass by or how many people shout out of sheer excitement when they realise their queen is driving by them.

I had to laugh when little kids tried to run next to us and screamed their excited greetings while their parents hurried after them so they wouldn't get hurt or lost in the crowd. Charlotte laughed those moments off, not commenting on how they didn't address her by 'Your Majesty'. She simply waved at the little creatures, telling them hello if they were close enough to us.

It was another side of her I got to witness. The loving queen who truly enjoyed speaking to her people as long as they are polite about it. And I have yet to see the ruthless side of her as nothing horrible has been happening in England for quite some time under her ruling.