Maybe Tomorrow

Chapter 14 - Alexandra

Charlotte just had to have her birthday ball during our visit. I am sure the fates are laughing at my luck right now because I tried so hard to not make any unnecessary contact with her and now I was to attend her ball and spend hours in her presence without an escape.

Unless I want to come out as a rude guest.

My mother basically forced me to sit with them at today's morning meal. I tried to make my way out but unfortunately she strode into my chamber at dawn, the door handle hitting the wall with how abruptly she walked in and forbade me going anywhere with Angel during the whole day. I had to spend three hours under the watchful eyes of hers until the time for food came.

Although after everyone finished eating I felt the guilt drowning me from the inside of not saying anything about her birthday. I could try to avoid her all I want any other day but not saying something to her felt wrong.

Creeping behind her was one way to do it. And at the time it felt the only right way to do it. Even if I may have seemed like a creeping shadow.

I stopped in my way when I saw her chest move heavily up and down. Her breaths were almost visible if it weren't for the spring weather and the warmness of the palace. She heard my every move and didn't know what to anticipate next. So I stayed in my position before I swiftly walked out of there with a quick and quiet wish.

My mother occupied the rest of my morning by forcing me to watch her try on gowns while her maid walked around the room with her, from the closet to the bedchamber, perfecting each one until my dear mother finally decided on which one she was going to choose.

It took her hours to realise she liked the first gown the most.

I was on the verge of fainting from looking at too many colours in the span of four hours.

Her dragging me around anywhere she went was only to make sure I won't flee the palace with Angel and enough food for the day. Or the whole country, if I was desperate enough to do so. But that would surely acquire much more food. A horse and a grown woman need their nourishment in order to bloom.

As I have chosen my own suit days prior to this, my mother freed me from her imprisonment two hours before the start of the ball. And I didn't have enough time to feel anxious through the day so every nerve in my body began twitching during my preparations for the evening of joy.

My outfit consists of simple dark dress pants tucked into black ankle boots and a white blouse with a bow on the neck which will be sticking out of the black tailcoat with golden details on the chest, shoulders and both cuffs. The bow on the blouse is there to make it look more feminine to the eyes of people surrounding me since what I usually wear isn't considered that on the large scale. Even with all the alterations I get done so my suits differentiate from what gentlemen wear.

Agatha helped me with the bandage beforehand so I wouldn't get blood on the pants but since the wound is healing nicely without any major problems so far, I don't think today will go any different. Soon I won't need bendages anymore but I wasn't about to take any risks for today. Nothing would mortify me more than having people stare at me as something wet seeps through my clothes.

I don't necessarily mind them staring but in that situation I would wish for someone to shoot their pistol.

"You need to put on the coat, my lady. The Queen's guests are filling the ballroom and you need to be there before Her Majesty," Agatha ushers me, handing me the coat. I do as she says, buttoning the two rows of gold buttons on the front.

She leads me down the stairs, only parting ways when we are metres away from the large door with guards in front of it as maids are not allowed inside unless they are Charlotte's maids or they put on their waitressing clothes. Which most of them don't own as their work ranges between helping their ordered person and cleaning somewhere in the palace.