weak | choni

25: "How Can You Be Sure"

a/n: literally cried writing this, i promise you this story gets sadder

Toni held her breath when she heard Cheryl shuffling around in her bunk. Her mind was racing, trying to process her recent discovery. She barely had time to think, though, because moments later the curtain of her bunk was ripped open with a force that made Toni's heart jump.

"What did you see?" Cheryl's voice was low in the back of her throat, and Toni could tell she was trying to keep quiet. Their other bandmates were asleep in the same room. Before she could answer, the bus rolled to a stop and Cheryl had to grab onto the wall to keep herself from falling over.

"Toni!" Cheryl hissed, holding the journal in front of her face and glaring at the other girl. "I know you saw it. The bookmark was in the wrong spot. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you!"

Toni bit her lip, knowing she'd been caught. Granted, snooping hadn't been the best idea. But she'd found out something important. Something that needed to be fixed.

"You can't go on like this, Cheryl," Toni sat up slightly in her bunk, using her elbow to keep herself somewhat upright.

"It's none of your business what I do, Toni!" Cheryl spat back, tightening her grip on the journal. Her hands were shaking, knowing that Toni could easily speak up and get Cheryl sent back to the institution. "You know what?" Cheryl shook her head and turned away. "Forget it, Toni," she muttered, disappearing out of the front of the now-parked bus and slamming the door behind her.

Toni held her breath when the sound made Veronica stir in the bunk above hers. When no one seemed to have awoken, she buried her head in her pillow and groaned. Cheryl couldn't keep doing this to herself.

She considered going out after Cheryl. But she also knew that giving Cheryl her space was probably the best option. She didn't want a repeat of the fight they'd had at the end of the previous tour. Going through that again wasn't the best idea.

Toni rolled onto her back, willing herself not to cry. Why did Cheryl have to be so stubborn? Couldn't she see that what she was doing was harmful? Toni swallowed hard and resisted punching the wall, knowing it would wake someone.

When the silence became too torturous for her, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through twitter. Of course, that was a bad idea as well. Pictures of her and Cheryl littered her timeline, and she ended up turning off her phone and shoving it in the space between her mattress and the wall. She couldn't turn her thoughts off.

After what felt like forever, Toni couldn't control herself anymore. Cheryl had yet to return to the bus and Toni couldn't help but worry. Even if they didn't see eye to eye on things, she still had feelings for Cheryl that didn't go away. Feelings that she'd never had for anyone else but the younger girl.

So of course, Toni quietly rolled out of her bunk and looked around, stealing a pair of Josie's flip flops. She pulled the curtains to both her and Cheryl's bunks completely shut, hoping no one would wake up and realize they were missing. After taking a deep breath, she tiptoed to the front of the bus.

"Cheryl?" she called quietly, stepping out into the parking lot and shivering in the night breeze. She was about to call the girl's name again when she heard sniffling from behind her. Turning around, she sighed in relief when she saw Cheryl sitting with her back pressed against the side of the bus.

"Cheryl?" she bit her lip and took a step forwards. "Are you okay?"

The small girl shook her head and brought her hands up to hide her face. Toni grew concerned but hesitantly stayed put, unsure if Cheryl would receive any comfort she tried to offer. Cher's mood was a guessing game for her.