Greys Anatomy/Station 19 One Shots

I Can Never Be Him (Meredith)

Y/N and Meredith have had a sort of on and off relationship. Everytime it gets close to something serious. Meredith pulls away. Quite frankly, Y/N has been extremely tired of it lately.

"So you're leaving." Callie asked them as they walked towards the ER.

"I can't stay here Callie." They sighed. "So I took the job in New York."

"Because of her." She stated bitterly. She had started to dislike Meredith since the first time she ghosted Y/N and then kept doing it. "There's so many reasons to stay."

"She's still here. I can't stay here knowing she doesn't love me like I love her." Y/N told her as they packed their things up. "I won't do that to myself."

"Sofia's going to miss you." She whispered as she pulled them in for a hug. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll still visit you guys, just make sure the sofa's ready for me." They smirked. Callie just nodded before leaving for her rounds.

------

Meredith was in the ER with Hunt and April. All waiting on a trauma call coming in.

"Are you going to Y/N's going away party at Joe's?" April asked Owen. Meredith's head shot up in their direction.

"Y/N's leaving?" She asked the two.

"Yeah, their last shift was yesterday." Owen informed her. "They've had a job offer in New York."

"And they're going?" She asked him. Trying to get her head around it.

"Yeah. They leave tomorrow." He told her before he left her. She was stood there in her thoughts going over everything in her mind. Everything that has happened between the two. She has felt the way she did when she was with them since Derek was alive. Y/N made her feel alive. They made her feel again and that scared her. It frightened her.

She tried to look for Y/N around the hospital. She soon came to their locker in the lounge to see their things all gone. They were already packing their car.

"I can't believe you're leaving us." Arizona said as she approached Y/N's car.

"Well all good things must end right." They smiled as she just pulled them in for a hug. Everyone else was gathered around, bidding their goodbyes when Meredith approached. Running through her colleagues to get to the one person she wanted to be.

"Y/N!" She called out. Robert cleared everyone away so it was just the two of them. Meredith looked at Y/N longingly. "You were going to leave without telling me?"

"You wouldn't have noticed Meredith." They told her. "You have all of your friends here. You don't really need me." They walked to the drivers side only to have Meredith stand in between them and the car.

"I would have noticed Y/N." She told them, fighting her tears back.

"You would have noticed the lack of sex Meredith. Not the lack of me." Y/N told her. "I don't know where it happened but I fell in love with you and I confessed." They sighed. "And you just walked away like it meant nothing."

"When we started this, we said we wouldn't fall." She stated.

"No. You said that." They told her. "You said that because you won't love me the way I love you. The way you love Him."

"Don't." She whispered shakily.

"I can never be him Mer and I am tired of trying to compete with Him." Y/N told her. "And he isn't even here! I am competing with a god damn ghost." Y/N looked in shock when Meredith's hand connected harshly with their cheek. They clenched their jaw and nodded before looking at her. "I guess we are done here. It's done."

"Y/N I." She tried as the tears fell down her cheeks.

"We're done." They said as they softly moved her from in front of their car door. "It was nice knowing you."

Meredith watched as they left the parking lot. Their words echoing in her mind. 'I can never be Him.'

AN

My first Meredith one shot dudes.
Please let me know what you think.