"I cannot believe you were fighting!"
Ferb was generally unmoved, aside from adjusting the icepack held to his cheek.
Linda wished Lawrence was home, maybe he could get though to him. "What were you thinking? And at the mall too."
"Well," Phineas fidgeted next to his brother on the sofa, technically, as he hadn't been actively involved in the fight, he didn't need to be there, but he'd insisted, "Evander Holyfield told us that fighting out behind the mall at three o'clock is the time-honored way to do it."
She blinked, before frowning. "Evander Holyfield? The boxer?"
"Yes."
How on earth did they know Evander Holyfield? And why was he giving her children advise on fighting behind anything?
Phineas continued, "That was a couple years ago, but it seemed like an important lesson. He taught us, mostly me, some fighting tricks too and the proper way to throw a punch and how to get a high score on Dance, Dance Revolution. Of course, I couldn't use any of it at the time."
"You didn't?" Did she want to know? Linda pinched the bridge of her nose. No, no she did not, but she probably should.
"He couldn't do anything that could be imitable by an impressionable child viewer."
Both Linda and Phineas blinked at Ferb for that.
Phineas recovered first, "Oh, yeah, I think I do remember the announcer saying that, since we had a large crowd and all."
"A large crowd...? Phineas, what were you doing?" Was she going to be grounding both of them by the time this was over? She hadn't even managed an explanation for Ferb's actions yet. Was it even right to ground Phineas over something that apparently happened 'a few years' ago? She couldn't recall anything about him getting into a fight. Or noticing any bruses. She had a hard time imagining him coming out of a physical altercation unscathed, especially a few years back.
"Thumb wrestling Buford."
Linda resisted the very unhelpful, unmotherly urge to bang her head against the wall. Of course it was a thumb fight. She took a less than steading breath. When was Lawrence due home again? "Ferb, why were you fighting?"
Ferb blinked.
"Ferb, honey, now is not the time to go silent on me."
Lowering the icepack, he sighed. "It's very simple, he--"
The front door banged open. "Linda, dear, you simply must see what I bought at auction!"
