"𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘕𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘮,
𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘦."
Life in Awa'atlu was as predictable as the way water flowed across the sea, with everything set in motion with routine and order - that is, until the Sully's arrived...
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I'm afraid of the sea. It's an odd thing to say out loud when you're a member of the Metkayina clan, and it will undoubtedly get confused looks from other members of the clan and possibly disapproving headshakes from the elders, but it's a thought I carry with me every day without fail. I'm deathly afraid of the sea.
"Za'ranin, Eywa brought you to us."
I hear it all the time, but it's not enough. Yes, our Great Mother does nothing without purpose - that is what we Na'vi are taught and believe from childhood - but knowing the reason can't hurt, can it? It's wrong of me to ask, but why was I abandoned, Eywa? Why was I thrown into the sea without a thought? Why did you bring me here?
Truly I believe that I am a horrible person for these questions I have. I know I was lucky to survive; I was only one year old when I was discovered washed up on the coast; everyone says there was a period when I wasn't breathing and they believed I was going to die, but I survived and was adopted by a loving family despite all odds. Our bond is solid since our parents raised us as twins, and though he irritates me to the point where I'd rather collect all the pebbles on the island than even admit it to him, I adore my brother Rotxo as if we were blood related— yet despite this my curiosity about my origins has never faded.
I try to ignore this feeling, I try to live on without knowing but I can't—there are times at night, when I lay in bed, that I'm haunted by the constant nightmares of what would've happened if Eywa hadn't saved me. Of drowning, unable to breathe, feeling scared and panicked. They are vivid and real as if I'm reliving it and it's frightening. I have developed a few tricks to help me fall asleep again but they don't work all the time. It's not just about being able to sleep—it's also about knowing that there is no danger around, nothing threatening me from outside and inside. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in a dream or rather a nightmare, stuck somewhere between reality and my imagination, my mind unable to choose which side to follow. It isn't easy to get out of such dreams but somehow I always manage to return to reality... at least physically speaking
On occasion, I awaken to find myself back on that same shore, the cool breeze stroking against my skin and the sea devouring my feet. I'm not sure how or when I get there, but each time it feels as though I'm slowly inching deeper into the sea. I wonder how it would end if I can't manage to wake myself up.
"There you are Ranin!" The sound of a familiar sweet voice breaks my deep thought and I look up to be greeted by the cute dimpled smile of Tsireya.
"Hm? Were you looking for me?"
She frowns at my question. "Did you forget? Ao'nung has been bragging about it all night, I could barely sleep!"
My forehead furrows in confusion as I attempt to rack my brain to try and remember what I had seemed to forget. "... it's not his birthday is it?" I attempt.
Tsireya just sighs and shakes her head, taking my wrist in her hand before helping me up from my seated position. Me and her had been friends since we were young. My mother was rather close to hers— our village Tsahik, Ronal — so she often brought me along with Rotxo when she would go over, which ultimately was the inevitable start of our friendship quartet— including her elder brother Ao'nung.
