A tight secret (Philip Graves / reader)

Chapter 10

We drove into town, it was raining though it wasn't enough to make this dangerous or a hard mission. Plus nothing could make this harder then the fact we were basically all now war criminals. Regardless if I participated or knew me being here is enough to get me locked up for a few years. That's only if I even get out of this alive. I was scared shitless, all I could do was hold my gun close and keep closer to our commander. Although Graves sealed our deaths, while being out here the best place to be was next to him. I didn't know about this but the other shadows did meaning they all agreed his life over any of ours, they'd protect him at all cost and hell if they're worried of him that gives Graves a better chance of protecting me. This is all so ironic. The man protecting me is the man I need protecting from. The bloodshed was horrific. Many innocent people were losing their homes and life. There's nothing I can do but try to reason with Graves and try to stop him. But stopping your commander is first, very hard and second suspicious on my part. It's seen as disrespectful and just wrong and I know I shouldn't care about my image but if we do thanks to some miracle come out of this alive or at least somewhat fine then I'll be in more trouble then I could imagine. I highly doubt it though.

"Graves. Please." I took hold of his arm pulling him back to me. I tried my hardest to reason with him unnoticeably to the others. This is the best I could do. If I could I'd get on my knees and beg but even then I know his stubborn ass would give me a shitty excuse and tell me "it'll be alright"

"Slone. We'll be okay. Trust me on this." Exactly what I expected him to say. Tears pierced my eyes. I could feel a sting in my nose. I shook my head I couldn't even look at him. He didn't have a solid plan, who would? Ghost and Soap were some of the best soldiers out there and they weren't going to take a simple "I'm sorry let's just move on from this" and I don't blame them. Even if we stopped it wouldn't undo what we did. This isn't just something you take accountability and pray you'll be forgiven. No this is something you face in the court of law, which would never ever be a fair trial. Not like they (we) are deserving of one. But now I'd be punished for something I had no assist in. In the eyes of everyone I am just as guilty.

"Tenemos mas policías!" Graves found some, what he presumed to be dirty cops helping the cartel but honestly I don't believe him one bit.

"Let's show them how we handle corruption, yeah?" He gave an obvious order. That in more or less words meant kill 'em. Some kiss ass responded with "yeah"

"El sin nombre will kill you for this" The cop tried to keep a ground of false bravery and certainty.

"Oh no no el sin nombre no bueno right now, amigo-"

"He'll cut your fucking head off" Right after the cop spat those words out, Graves kicked him in the head. I couldn't help but look away. I had seen worse before and abominable things tonight but you couldn't look at anyone in the face after what I had in counter the last past hour. 

"Shut the fuck up."
"No mas hable."
Graves light a flare stick and told the soldier to torch it. I wasn't even surprised but instead deeply distraught. The cop was singled away while Graves gave further instructions on what to do with him, lucky he wasn't going to be dead but sent to be tied with the rest.

"Slone..?" Graves, I'm assuming noticed my discomfort that was beyond discomfort, this was pure disgust.
He took us aside so we could talk, not to far from the rest of the shadows but just enough so we wouldn't be heard.

"Commander Graves. Don't you have war crimes to attend to?" I was very careful to not raise my voice.

"Look I'm sorry alright.. I didn't want to do this but if I pull this off, sorry when I pull this off and it's all over with we'll be fine. I talked to the general and well.. I can assure you I do this with very few will." His eyes seemed genuine but his words sounded dragged and complete shit.

"You killed innocent civilians. Graves I can assure you this was never part of some plan that's been forced on you. Unless the plan was to make you a war criminal. How the hell does one get out of this. It's impossible, and you decided to be selfish and put all of us at risk. Worst of all you put yourself. You had so little acknowledgment of us and how we'd be affected. You think they'll let us off the hook since we didn't command this operation? If you truly believe that you are one hell of a dumbass. I'm honestly disappointed, not just disappointed but truly painfully hurt." After getting everything out though not fully Graves just stood there he couldn't retaliate what I told him. He knew I was right.

"I want you to leave here and go somewhere safe. Right now." He pushed me away from him only grabbing onto my arm just like I did his earlier. The grip he had on my was firm and I couldn't shake him off even if I tired.. and I tired.

"Where am I going to go Philip. I'm not safe anywhere. I'm a criminal just as much as the rest. Just as much as you." I had to remind him constantly that there was no way of fixing this and me leaving could be seen as escaping.

"Look I'll get your father to send someone over. Please just leave." He was begging me to leave. Begging me with all he could to just get out. I didn't to be here but I sure as hell didn't want to leave him here.

"I swear to God Slone I'll try my hardest to come home please. Go." He pushed me harder and walked each step not knowing where he was taking me. The rest of the shadows seem to not notice our leave.

Finally some soldiers sent from my father who I assume are trusted men came to get me. I gave Graves a kiss and the tightest hug I could possibly give. Then I was on my way. I couldn't help but cry, even if I hated him in this moment. Even if I resented and wanted to beat some sense into him. I still loved him and I don't think I'm capable of not doing so. I could only pray for his safety.