A tight secret (Philip Graves / reader)

Chapter 11 (Graves POV)

(WARNING!! A bit of gore)

It's been a few hours since slone had left and I have not heard a word about her well being, I don't think I will for a while. I hate how she had to run away from this, how others will see her as a criminal she had no play on this. It breaks my heart all of this does but right now all I need to do is come out of this alive.. Ghost and Soap didn't walk away calmly and I don't blame them but I wish they did. Put a dent in everything but I did confined Alejandro and take his base. I know I fucked up a hundred times over but- I shouldn't be thinking on what I should've told slone. I have to keep myself safe I promised her I'd make it home alive and that's what I'm going to do.

"Men, I need all of you to have your heads in this fully. Keep an eye out for any suspicious activity. I trust in you all to do your best." I gave out orders but I couldn't help be worry. I had to keep my cool in front of these men, what kind of commander loses his shit in front of his men. I wanted to run home to Slone as soon as possible.

My men nodded and got into position. I was waiting in where I assumed they'd make their way into the base. Once they blasted the door open I started heading down into a tank. I'll admit this might been over the top but they were some of the best soldiers and I know I don't have the upper hand here. But I made a promise and I intend to keep it by all means, so if I need a tank I'll use a fucking tank.

"Looks like the hunters are gettin' hunted now, huh? Ain't that a kick in the ass?" I was just shit talking that all it was. I wanted to sound laid back but it reality I was counting my seconds.

Soap was using the concrete buildings to hide in, it made it harder to throw precise shots. Firing at random wasn't an ethnically option.
"You and your Mexican friends fucked with the wrong hombre McTavish"
"Come on out and let's talk about it." He wasn't wrong I know I looked like a coward. I was but I still didn't care. As long as I came out of this what do I care on how I win.

"You think this is a fucking game out here? You wanna play war? Let's play some fuckin' war. Chicos!" He could run his mouth, see if I care once we're done.
"One o' you dip-shits need to die last- who is it going to be?"
"Go fuck yourself Grave"
"You've got a healthy disrespect for authority. Soap. I like that about you.."
"You're Shepard's lapdog. You get paid to make the rules."
Shepard, that Goddamn son of a bitch. He's the reason we are all in this mess in the first place. I wasn't willingly his dog. It shouldn't bother me this much but it does. I hate this, I hate all of it.
"There's only true rules here. Boys. Walk away or win. Guess which one I choose"
"Should've gone home when you had the chance. Soap- you and that asshole with the mask, hiding behind that uniform."
"You wore that uniform." Soap spat out. He's right, completely I did. I would've loved to as well. But I guess I just don't have the human right to make those decisions.
"That uniform was a limitation. I shed that skin.."
"Like a fuckin' snake."
"Like a fuckin' soldier, son."
"You had to make your own little army cause you couldn't hack it in to the real one." He has a snarky response for every one of my taunts and honestly it just pissed me off beyond words.
"Hahaha. That's almost funny comin' from you but then again. I remember my first rodeo too."
"You're on a short road to hell now, son. I told you to go home but you didn't listen."
"You'll hang for this." Just another back to back realistic truth.
"Knock that honor shit off. Johnny. I'll be sipping tequila. Forgetting where I buried your ass in a week. That goes for both of you. Can you say the same?"
No they couldn't, I won't give them the satisfaction. I need to go home, I need to feel Slone's warmth next to me when I sleep at night. I need to be able to show my face to her soon. I need Slone.

Explosives kept dropping near the tank, each one kept getting closer and closer each time. One blow and I have to em before they get me. I need to find them and hit them. That's all I have to do. It was getting harder by the minute.

They hit my tank successfully. God it's on fire. No- it blew up. I'm burning, I'm in pain. This is agonizing, I just want to see Slone one last time.. just once. She's all I can think about. All I want, now I'm here left to burn clean. My ashes wont be clean but instead rubbed and spit into the dirt. I'll be cleaned out by spirit only. This is it, I'm done. My promise, fuck my promise. Why am I not yelling why can't I only think of Slone, where's my life flashing before my life. Where's the life I could've had with her. I should've never done this I should've risked my career, took the chances of a few years of being dishonorably discharged. Fucking hell I can't feel my skin I only feel heat and a melting sensation. There's no way out, my chest is full of smoke I can't breathe I can't think of a solution. I'm done for. Slone what will become of Slone. God I love her, I miss her. I'm dying. I'm.. I can't go like this- Slone I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-

(One more chapter left guys!)