Time To Change

Chapter 17 ~ Dammit

I grumble to myself as I walk back to the house. This was a bad idea. A bad idea indeed. Why did I have to agree to taking this guy in. What the hell does he want with me and my family.

I kick a rock at a tree and sigh. I can't go into the house in this condition they'll know somethings wrong, and pry for answers. Dammit. I change directions and head towards a lake a little ways out. Might as well go swim or lay there for a while so I can calm me, my wolf, and demon down. All three of us are on edge. No matter what I might claim sometimes, I must admit that we are all very in sync, even if I don't want to be.

I strip off my clothes down to my underwear and sprint into the lake until I'm up the my waist and dive in. The iciness of the water instantly clears my senses, and mind for that matter. Finally I can think clearly. I surface and float on my back, looking up at the sky, that's slowly approaching twilight. That smell of night invades my senses, smiling I close my eyes and breathe in deep.

I need to figure about what to do with Aiden. He needs to be dealt with. Be it making him leave or even killing him. There's one thing for sure, I can't just let him be free to wreck havoc on my family. Yes I know I probably should tell Nix and this would all not be a problem in the slightest, but I'm just being a coward because I don't want to know if Nixon will freak out or not and I don't want to know. I want to spend as much time as I can with him before I have to tell him in case he rejects me and I had to spend the rest of my life alone without my mate all because of the fucker that turned me into this.... Abomination of a wolf that I am today. I still don't forgive him. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have to deal with isolating myself and I would be able to lead a normal life with Nixon by my side.

God dammit if I don't think about being normal almost every day but I know there's nothing I can do about it and I need to learn to suck it up. I open my eyes and look up at the sky once more. I stare at the beautiful purples and pinks that paint the sky.

I frown and swim towards the shore and use my power of fire to evaporate the water from my skin. I get dressed again and sit down. I mind link nix and kira and tell them I'm going to spend the night at the lake because I need some alone time. They both ask if I'm okay, and I respond with a non committal answer, not wanting them to worry more than they already do. I turn into my wolf and lay down closing my eyes. Soon darkness overwhelms me.

XxX

I wake up to a warm touch on my cheek. Huh? I must've shifted back some time during the night. I open my eyes and see nix looking at me with a worried expression on his face. I squint at the bright sun that's far into the sky by now. I contort my face in confusion, wondering what he's worried about. He continues to look at me with worried eyes.

"what's wrong silv? I'm here to listen if you need to talk. Please open up, I don't want to be in the dark anymore. I know your hiding something and I want to know. I'm not a kid and I can handle myself. I won't freak out. For God's sake, I'm your mate, you could be a flying tree and I'd accept you.. " he trailed off realizing what he just said and burst out laughing, " okay maybe not a flying tree but you know what I mean! " I smiled at his naivety and shook my head.

Should I tell him? I mean he said he would accept me, but I doubt he knows how fucked this whole situation is. I sigh, knowing what I have to do. I grab his hands, pulling him into my lap and rest my chin on the top of his head wrapping my arms around his waist. I take a deep breath and.