𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝙊𝙉 𝙔𝙊𝙐 || 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧

𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘃𝗼𝘁𝗲 :)

𝘆/𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝘃

We arrived to the house and I settled my stuff by the front door. It was awkward for a second but Rafe spoke up.

"The guest room upstairs is right by Sarahs room." He gestured toward the stairs, avoiding eye contact. 

If I was being honest, I didn't want to sleep there. I didn't want to be alone upstairs, and I didn't want to be away from Rafe. I've spent too long trying to be away from him. "Can I sleep in the guest room by your room instead?" I asked, looking up at him.

His eyes met mine and he had a look of relief. He also seemed flustered, but slowly nodded his head. "Yeah, yeah sure."

I smiled then took my stuff to the room. I settled in and took a seat on the bed. There were so many thoughts running through my head now that I feel that I'm starting to accept all these feelings. Would he even like me back? Does he find me attractive? Am I even his type? While I was digging myself a whole in all my thoughts, I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." I stated on instinct.

Rafe opened the door and leaned in the doorframe. "Are you settled in okay?" He said, avoiding eye contact again.

"Yes, thank you." I peered up at him.

"I was thinking, if you want, do you want to watch a movie in the living room?" He smiled shortly and attempted to look at me.

I smiled, probably to big, and nodded my head. "Yes sure, that'd be nice." My heart was pounding out of my chest, but I have a good way of not showing how nervous I am.

"Good, I'll go make some popcorn, and just head up whenever you're ready." 

I made my way upstairs, after I threw on some cute pajamas. I saw him pulling out wine glasses and silently smiled to myself. He turned around, but seemed surprised to see me. 

"I hope you don't mind some wine." He said, pulling out a bottle from the wine rack.

"Not at all." I smiled, walking toward the kitchen counter. He finished pouring the glasses as the microwave signaled for the popcorn. We soon settled on the couch and sat a little ways from each other. He turned on a movie and we watched in silence for a while. My mind was still running like crazy and I couldn't keep focus on the movie. I felt I needed to say something, or start a conversation. But before I could think rationally, I blurted out, "Why did you kiss me?"

He looked over to me a bit surprised, but turned the tv's volume down. "It was the heat of the moment I guess." I felt disappointed by his answer, but at least he answered. "Why do you ask?" He followed up.

My cheeks heated up and I shrugged. "Just curious." It felt awkward again so I reached for the remote to turn the volume back up, but he grabbed it before I could. 

"Tell me why you really asked." He stated, turning his body to me.

"Tell me why you really kissed me." I huffed back. 

"It's not a simple answer." 

"So you admit that it wasn't the heat of the moment?" I smirked.

"Oh it was, but that's the short answer," he smiled, "now tell me why you really asked."

"It's not a simple answer." I answered and we both laughed. 

He then got a text on his phone and looked up to me. "You know, there's a party actually, tonight, if you want to stop by. I think it'll be fun." He nervously suggested.

"Sure, yeah that would be fun. Let me go throw on something real quick." I agreed. It was around 10 pm and I secretly wished we would've stayed the whole night together, but the party did sound fun. 

"Yeah me too, I'll meet you up here in 10?" He got up and took our glasses and popcorn bowl to the kitchen.

"Sounds good!" I made my way to the guest room and searched through my clothes to find something cute. I felt like I needed to because I was starting to enjoy Rafe's company. 10 minutes passed and I met Rafe upstairs. We got in his truck and left to the party. I immediately recognized the house as the one where I first met Rafe. Ironic actually. I hated him, but now I hate him less. 

We got out and made our way inside. Rafe knew the majority of the people in there, and I tried my best to stay near him. I obviously didn't know anyone, but I chatted with a few people and made some friends.

It was around 1 am now and I hadn't seen Rafe in a while. I decided to go look for him and checked all around outside but didn't see him. I went back inside and looked for him there. I opened the door to a bedroom and there he was. He was in the room with a few others. There were girls in their underwear with coke lines on their stomach. Rafe and a few other boys had white lining the bottom of their noses. It bothered me, but it wasn't my place to stop him.

He spotted me and quickly wiped his nose. "Y/n, hey. What uh, what are you doing here?" 

"I was looking for you, but I see that you're busy, so I'll make my way out." 

"Wait, don't leave! Join us, we um, we're having lots of fun in here" He laughed and made another line on the girls stomach.

I felt uncomfortable so I just left. I quickly made my way downstairs and tried to find anywhere that was quiet. I didn't want to feel jealous or disappointed, but that's all I felt right now. There wasn't anything I could do, and nothing I could say. Before I knew, I was downing drink left and right. I must've passed out because next thing I knew, I was being woken up by Topper. 

"Y/n? What the fuck are you doing here?" He shook me awake. 

"Topper?" 

"Y/n get up, you're drunk and need to go home." 

"I came with Rafe..." I slurred my words.

"What? I thought he said he'd never go near you again." Topper said just loud enough that I heard. 

"He- He said that?" I felt sobered up real quick and regained most of my conscious. I was lying on a couch and it was still dark outside. 

"Nevermind what he said, it's 3 am and we need to go home." Topper lifted me up and walked me to his car.

My mind was still on what Topper said that I didn't even realize I was getting into his car. I didn't want to go home to my dad, but I also didn't want to be at that party anymore. It seems every time I start to think Rafe's a good guy, something happens and I'm back to hating him. Hate might be an over-exaggeration, but there's no other word I can think of to describe exactly how I feel. Once again I'm confused, hurt, and disappointed. I wanted things to be okay for even just one night. 

𝐀/𝐍 - Sorry for the little cliffhanger if that's what you can even call it. Anyways, I'm gonna go through soon and clean up these chapter before I add more. I'm also gonna look for more inspirations on where to take this story. I'm so beyond happy and grateful for all the reads, likes, and comments. It truly means so much.