I am the other Todoroki

Chapter 9 - My little blue spark in the overwhelming dark

Hello A/N here

Just a quick warning this chapter contains depictions of @buse and $elf-h@rm

Thank you

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I see Shiggaraki shift confusedly

"Um, what the hell was that?"

He sounds almost disgusted

"Well, crusty" he composes himself wiping the blood from his face, he even gives a soft laugh at his horrible attempt at an insulting nickname

"Now seems like the best time to tell you, but Y/N here is my little sister" Shiggaraki scoffs

"So that was some little family reunion, how sweet" he wrinkles his nose as he says it.

Finally, the panic sets in and I realise I might be in real danger even with Touya here. Another emotion I'm overrun with is sadness. He's been alive this whole time. I never knew what happened to him, one day he just stopped sneaking in to see me and one day he just stopped. I never saw him again.

Slowly I lose control and begin to hyperventilate. I can feel that beast again, raging inside me. I become very aware of it, too aware of it alarmingly quickly. Without bursts it out of me acting like a separate entity, feeding off of my raw emotions giving it sentient life.

"She can't control that!" Kurogiri shouts

'How would he know that, they weren't there when I lost it the first time, were they'? I can't focus on anything, my breathing is harsh and sharp in my chest like inhaling needles rather than oxygen, my mind is racing and I feel dizzy. I don't know what to do to control my other form or to at least bring it back into me.

I see Touya out of the corner of my eye his face is panic ridden but his eyes are calculating determined. He takes running dive, and slides feet first under my other form to me. He crouches beside me ducking as it swings it's arms to grab him. He takes hold of my shoulders. I can hardly see him, my vision clouded by my anxiety. I could only hear his breathing the faintest of sounds like it was far off. I don't look at him or move at his touch.

I can't. My body is paralysed

"Y/N, it's me, look at me" he shakes me slightly when I don't respond he shakes me again

"Y/N!" He shouts, desperation in his voice

I force my unfocused eyes to fixate themselves on his bright blue ones. "Don't go back there, it's not real ok, don't look away, stay with me" Again his words dig up a memory I was try desperately to forget.

I remember being 9 and having just argued back with Endeavour. He'd punched me, I was on the ground with a black eye slowly forming with blood streaming from my nose, I'm choking on a hot liquid, I cough and blood splatters the ground.

"WEAK! You can't even handle a basic punch! You are pathetic and useless, get out of my sight!" I pick myself up my arm aches and my shirt is now a gleaming red.

Instead of running to my room, which is what my brain wanted to do my legs carried me to the kitchen and my arms reached for the top drawer on the left, where the knives are kept. The thoughts flowing in my head are compelling me to do so. 'You deserve it' 'Waste of space' 'Falier' all swimming through my mind.

I grab the first one I see and take it to my wrist adding blood onto my shirt and now all over my hand. I cry out and drop the knife, before I realise what I had done I hear some footsteps behind me I flinch and curl in on myself expecting it to be Endeavour but I feel soft hands grab my own

"Y/N?" I hear Touya's soft voice

"Don't go there ok, I've been there I've done that" I don't look at him my shaky breaths and the fist full of hair in my hands is the only thing keeping me present in the kitchen.

I snap back to reality and all I can here is

"Y/N look at me, Y/N" I look up at him

And suddenly everything feels alright because I have Touya.

My little blue spark in the overwhelming dark.