Pure Trust | Lo'ak Sully (DISCONTINUED)

XVI.

Words: 1216
Warnings: Angst, Mentions of death

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What was Payakan doing here.

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While the animal left I turned to my spirit sister's corpse and caressed her cautiously, the tears that were rolling down my cheeks were now filled with pure anger.

I started hearing Lo'ak's words again and again in my head saying that Payakan wasn't a murderer and that he saved him, all those lies were getting louder and my vision was blinded with unbelievable rage that I never sensed before.

How can someone be this stupid? Dumb even.

Was Lo'ak just lying to me all this time? Trusting him was such a horrible mistake. Of course Payakan is a murderer, that's what they always taught us, and that was the truth.

"Y/N, we should go back.." Tsireya whispered placing her hand on my shoulder, I sighed trying to contain all my anger in me. I glanced at the Tulkun one more time, hoping that she will miraculously wake up; yet that would never happen, not in this lifetime.

"I'm going to avenge you."

I whispered so quietly, not even Reya could hear me, I turned around to look at her, my eyes were crimson red and my face was distorted into a disgusted one "Yeah, we should go." I said looking away, I could feel like Tsireya wanted to say something but she was hesitating, maybe it was because of my face, or maybe she understood that I just wanted quiet around me.

Ao'nung looked my way with his usual emotionless face, yet this time it had one more detail, his eyes were afraid. Afraid that it can happen to him too, I gave him a quick glance and as our eyes met; he lowered his head. I could almost hear his mind "I'm sorry." Yes. That's what he wanted to say.

The journey was dead silent, not a single soul dared to even breathe, I was in the front, with my eyes down looking at the Ilu under me. I instinctively pat her, hoping that she won't have to go through the same fate my spirit sister had.

As we arrived I could sense the others mumbling something coming our way "Y/N, wh—" Lo'ak put his arms in front of him coming to hug me, my body tensed. "Not now Lo'ak." he retreated seeing my reaction, he wanted to question further but Ao'nung was fast to interrupt him putting his hand on Lo'ak's shoulder "You really shouldn't." he whispered.

Lo'ak gave him a confused frown and then looked at me, my eyes still on the ground. He noticed the redness around my orbs and his distorted face changed into a worried one.
He looked back at the taller Na'vi and nodded backing off completely.

He let me go. Once again, he understood the situation immediately and let me go without questioning anymore.

He makes my blood boil.

While I went back to the village I realized that I had to stay in my pod, where father was. I really wasn't in the mood to talk or see him so I suddenly stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at the Olo'eyktan.

"Can I stay in an empty pod?" the older head clan raised his eyebrows, maybe surprised hearing such request, but the stunned look was replaced with a welcoming smile "Of course, you can stay in ours and you'll call us when you're ready to talk."
His comforting demeanor almost made me cry again, having around me such solace presence made something tremble inside me.

"Thank you." I whispered as Tsireya hugged me. "I'll be waiting, I promise." I returned the hug and after a while, we arrived at the Marui pod.
I turned around and smiled at the family behind me "See you soon, don't rush your emotions." the Tsahìk beamed and took his husband's hand dragging him away whilst the two children waved at me goodbye.

Now I was alone.

As I sat down the images of not too long ago returned in my mind, so vivid and so real, all the stress almost made me gag.
How can many things happen in so little time? And why was Payakan there?

That was the important question. It couldn't be a coincidence the fact that he was around while she was lifeless without anything or anyone else around her.
But now doubts started coming, Lo'ak lied? Why would he lie? He acted so genuinely while defending Payakan, this doesn't make any sense.

He wouldn't lie like that, would he?
Maybe it was best if I talked to him, but just seeing him so worried about me made my heart quiver, his amber eyes staring into mine with nothing but pure truth.
But, I don't think I will be able to believe him anymore, he can't have an explanation for this, can he?

He ruined both chances I gave him. Should I even try to give him another one? Another meaningless chance that he will mostly ruin too.
Was it even worth it to think about him now?

All the moments we've passed together began coming back, all the times we were laughing together or the first time I talked to him at the shore, or the time when we got lost in the open ocean.
Or our kiss.
He ruined all of that.

Many more thoughts came back, I started to tremble; I gave a quick glance at the outside and noticed that it started raining, little drops hitting the sea and the sand, it made me feel melancholy. Just why now? It was all getting better. I started to trust someone.

Little tears formed at the corner of my eyes, but I was trying to not let them fall. I already cried, there wasn't a reason to do it again now.

All of a sudden I heard some steps behind me, it could've been anyone, but I mostly hoped it was Rotxo. He could be the only one capable of comforting me.
Still, when I turned around I saw those familiar golden eyes looking down at me full of confusion.
The Na'vi boy was drenched by the rain, with drops coming off his fingertips, nose and hair.

"What did I do?" he asked hopelessly, his voice breaking. I got up and looked straight into his eyes, I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to slap him and turn my back on him, but I couldn't do any of that.

I started thinking back at it, yes he did ruin the chances, but he still had the same face of someone I really needed in my life, someone that was created just for me, like I was created for him.

I couldn't hold it anymore and broke down in silent tears, Lo'ak looked at me for a moment; his face appeared more than surprised, to say the least.
He crouched at my level searching for my eyes, his hands found their way to my cheekbones, when our eyes met I sniffled seeing those orbs I loved so much.

Yet, all that love was just being ignored at that moment.
He tried to shush me, or perhaps he was trying to calm me down.

"I hate you." my voice cracked saying that; he didn't react. He just looked dead into my eyes, and hugged me.

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A/N: omg!! This chapter was so stressful even for me! Yet, I love it so much, honestly one of my favorites so far ^^
Hope you enjoyed and stay safe <33