ADORATION

'People'

I've been drinking more alcohol for the past five days
Did you check on me?
Now, did you look for me?
I walked in the room, eyes are red and I don't smoke banga
Did you check on me? (Did you check on me?)
Now, did you notice me?

Y/N POV 

Motions that's just want I've been going through. Honestly the days are becoming all the same. I got to class, I come home, eat, sleep, and repeat. Feels like no one even notices the depression state I'm about to fall into. Dropping my keys and cell phone on to my kitchen counter, I walked to my cabinets grabbing the bottle that contained the clear liquid labeled 'Absolut Vodka'. This has honestly become my past time for the past couple of days. 

My phone begin to buzz as I unscrewed the top from the burning liquid. I just stared at the contact name 'PoolBoy'. Jordan Poole, my friend. We met at my school; I was in the basketball gym on campus just sitting in the bleachers reading, It had become my favorite pass time. This particular time I had been in the gym he rented it out to practice, but I had no idea. From that day we became connected.

Ignoring the call, I picked up the bottle taking a swig from it. You would think I would reach out to those around me to talk to but why should it you see people they know of you, but they don't really know you. I say that because if you know me you would notice my isolation. But no, I wonder did anyone notice me? Truly notice me.

Nobody wey know the paranoia oh
'Cause I put a smile on my face
A facade you can never face (Ooh)
And if you don't know me well, well, oh
You won't see how buried I am inside my grave
Inside my grave

I made my way to my room to begin working on some homework. I usually stay on top of my school work, but lately with the way life has been going I can truly say I've been slacking. I'm not behind on anything, but I'm not upholding to me full potential. As I was creating an outline for the paper I was about to start writing, my phone rang again. Looking down I see 'FaceTime; PooleBoy' letting out a sigh. I finally answered because this was the second time in 5 minuets which leads me to believe there should be an important reason he's calling. 

"Yes Poole." I asked answering the call. 

"Ayee there's the pretty girl. Why didn't you answer my call earlier?" He asked with concern. 

"I'm sorry, just had a lot going on, I promise it wasn't on purpose." I said placing a facade smile on my face. 

"You good Y/N? you seem off." He commented.

"Yeah I'll be good Poole, just trying to get some assignments out the way, so wassup?" I said with a sigh. 

"I had an off day and was wondering if you'd like to come to the gym with me, but I see you're not in the mood to be bothered."

"Yeah I won't be able to today, maybe next time. I'll talk to you later tho Poole, I really need to get started on this paper." I said.

"Yeah, I'll talk to you later Y/N." He said. 

With that I hung up the phone, slightly throwing it down onto my desk. I was tired, so tired. Life no longer was exciting. Instead I was left dealing with the turmoil of the reality around me. 

Oh, holy father
Oh, holy father, I dey try fo hold my head
I say make you no leave me diko
Oh, holy father (Yeah-yeah)
Oh, make you try fo understand

I sat at my desk staring at my computer, I begin to feel tears swell in my eyes. I was having issues writing this paper, not because I didn't understand, but because my mind was so clouded with the cares if my issues. I just wish I knew how to express myself. I pray that God helps me out of this defeat, but I feel so defeated and lost. I'm trying to hold my head up, but its so hard. Its hard when it feels like everyone around you can't even see that while I'm living in the natural rim I'm starting to feel dead inside. 

Jordan Pov 

My call with Y/N didn't feel right. I took in her appearance from the FaceTime call. Yeah she told me she was physically tired, but I peeped her eyes, slightly red, pink if you will. I knew her for a while now and I know she's not just 'physically' tired, she's mentally tired. I got into my car to make my way to Y/N's apartment. She needed someone right now. I wanted to be that that someone for her. Truth is spending all this time with Y/N and getting to know her I begin to fall for her. She was such a beautiful soul and more often times than not I'd find myself wanting to be with her more than she could every imagine. 

Once I made it there I walked to her door, knocking lightly. After a minuet I didn't get a response, I looked at the little pot that sat at the door, digging around the soil I found her spare key. She told me it would be there in case of emergency. To me this was an emergency. 

I unlocked the door and walked inside. Taking in the apartment, it wasn't Y/N her apartments is usually tidy as can be. Walking past her kitchen to make my way to her room I seen a half drunken bottle of vodka. Now that told me something was wrong. Sure Y/N drinks, but a half empty vodka bottle just sitting open on the counter wasn't like my Y/N. 

"Y/N.. Its me, Jordan you okay?" I said knocking on her bedroom door. I would never just walk right into her room. I still got no verbal response, but I heard the sniffles. 

I twisted the door knob, making my way inside the room I seen her sitting at her desk knees to her chest crying. I immediately made my way over to her. 

"Hey hey, baby girl what's wrong?" I asked kneeling at the side of the chair. She just shook her head still crying.

"Come on baby, tell me what's wrong. I'm here, I'm right here." I said grabbing her to wrap her in my arms as I walked us to sit on her bed.

"Jordan I'm so tired. I've just been so unhappy lately. School has become too much, everything is just becoming too much. I don't know how much more I can take." She cried into my chest. 

"I got you Y/N. I promise, I'm always going to be here for you to fall into when this life thing gets too much. I got you, I see you, I notice you baby." I said to her.  

I've been drinking more alcohol for the past five days
Did you check on me?

Once she gathered herself and calmed the tears she looked at me, 

"You know I've been drinking so much and not one person checked on me, I'm talking about eyes blood shot and I don't even smoke, no one noticed me. Thank you for noticing me and checking on me Poole." She said to me. 

"I'll always be here to notice and check on you, I love you more than you ever know Y/N." I said planting a kiss on her cheek. 

"I love you too PooleBoy." She said and she shocked me by placing a kiss on my lips. 

__________________

Dedicated to Tiamaya21

No lie girly I had a hard time writing this, but I love the hell out this song and I hope I held up to your request love!!! 

Thanks for the Request and Support its much appreciated <3