Inevitably Yours

19 ~ Shattering Hearts

*Hussain's perspective*
(Continuation from previous chapter)

I wipe my tears away and stand up straight, but my legs weren't cooperating. It felt like I would fall back down on my legs anytime soon

I make myself stable and look up at the ceiling and sigh heavily while my tears were no where near stopping

I hurriedly grab my phone and walk out of the room

I felt suffocated in that room with my emotions, memories, flashbacks, and her...her presence

I rush down the stairs, grab the keys and head out

I wanted to run away from those memories, and flashbacks; away from that room that held her presence and fragrance; away from myself because of my own stupid mistakes, which was according to me the reason why Anber was not with me anymore

I sit in the car and start the engine, driving off to God knows where my absentminded brain was going to take me

Tears still made their way down my eyes rapidly

I wanted to take things back from where it all started so I could have made this start a better one

I wanted to escape the reality which was simply impossible

I turn on the radio to try and ease my pain a little and run a hand through my hair as I let out a heavy breath

Soft music starts to play in the background but soon enough the lyrics take over...

Juda hoke bhi
Tu mujh mein kahin baaki hai

Palkon mein bann ke aansu
Tu chali aati hai

Juda hoke bhi...

I accelerate the car at a high speed as tears made their way down my eyes and I gulp down a hard lump that was forming in my throat

Waise zinda hoon ae zindagi, bin tere mein
Dard hi dard baaki raha hai, seene mein

How painful the situation grows as the lyrics of the song synchronize with your life

Saans lena bhar hi yahan jina nahi hai
Ab to aadat si hai mujh ko aise jeena mein

Juda hoke bhi
Tu mujh mein kahin baaki hai

Palkon mein ban ke aansu
Tu chali aati hai

I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand

I wanted to change the song; it hurt me more but it felt like there was atleast someone who understands what's hidden in my heart...

I turn the volume up and concentrate back on the road

Saath mere hai tu har pal, shab ke andhere mein
Paas mere hai tu har dum, ujle savere mein

Dil se dhadkan bhula dena, asaan nahi hai
Ab to aadat si hai mujh ko aise jeene mein

Feeling tired of all my emotions within me, I stop the car at an isolated road and step out, inhaling some fresh air.

I walk a little further away from my car but my legs give up on me, causing me fall down on my knees, helplessly. I let my emotions and feelings pour out along with my tears

Juda hoke bhi
Tu mujhe mein kahin baaki hai

Palkon mein ban ke aansu
Tu chali aati hai...

"Anber...!" Her name escapes my lips in a loud scream

Ab to aadat si hai mujh ko aise jeene mein....