Inevitably Yours

18 ~ Regret and Hatred

A few days later...

I sat in bed with my knees brought close my chest and my hands wrapped around it. I rested my head sideways down on my knees as a tear rolled down the corner of my eye

I don't know why but I kept on mentally hurting myself, but I just couldn't stop either

I glance over at my phone which I just kept down, the screen shined bright and my eyes were stoned fixed on the screen. A picture of Anber and I from college was pulled up on my screen; which which was the reason for my tears right now, which was the reason for my pain which had refueled

Her presence no where near me now always left me depressed, alone, heavy hearted... The only thing I had with me were these pictures and memories, which just give pain and nothing else.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts and pain. I was reluctant to look up so I just kept my head down, but I instantly wipe the tears away that stayed put near my eyes

"Hussain beta." Mom calls and I look up. I find her with a tray in her hand and I quickly spring up from my bed and walk towards her. "Mom aap kyun le aai ye? Mujhe bula legi, mein aa jata ya Shehry se bhija deti." I speak in disbelief and take the tray away from her and place it on the near table

"Kuch nai beta... Chalo betho aur please mere liye kuch kha lo." Mom request sweetly and I just didn't have the courage to say no, but I also didn't feel like eating.

Giving up, I nod my head and my mom smiles which makes me feel a little relieved

I settle myself on the bed and mom starts to feed me with her hands. I eat in silence throughout and mom doesn't talk either.

After I was done eating, I rest my head in my mom's lap and mom runs her hand in my hair which makes me feel a little relaxed. But one thing still kept my uncomfortable...

*Flashback*

"Yaar Anber mat karo." I complain like a kid and she giggles. Despite my warning, she still runs her hand in my hair making me more mad. Of course on purpose to annoy me more and she knew very well I hate it when someone messes with my hair

"Anber meine kaha naa." I pout and she places her hand over her mouth to control her laughter.

"Accha... Accha sorry." She says recovering from her laughter. I roll my eyes and sit up straight.

"Tum par bharosa karna bole to it's the same as standing in front of a bull and just simply telling him not to kill you. Similarities bahut hai, tumhein bole to tum phir se karogi, wo bechara to baghair samjhe uda dale ga mujhe. Fark sirf itna hai ki us pagal ke dimaagh nahi hai, Aur tere paas hai, lekin phir bhi tu use nahi karti hai." I speak frustrated and irritated in a serious tone and from the corner of my eye I could see Anber's expression change to an unreadable one

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't laugh at my connection to her with a bull and her post expressions.

She quietly picks up her books and gets back to studying.

After a few minutes of mentally debating on whether I should say sorry or just annoy her more, I finally end on the decision to say sorry.

"Aye Anber." I whisper scooting closer to her. She just simply ignores me and continues to read. I sigh and take the book away from her. She looks up while gasping but as soon her eyes meet mine, she shuts her mouth and looks down, pouting

I mentally chuckle looking at her; her cuteness!

"Anber." I whisper and place two fingers under chin and make her look up. "Kya hua?" I ask