Ambivalence

Winners and Losers

Lauren

Twice in less than twenty-four hours, I was forced to subject myself to a cold shower thanks to Karla Camila Cabello.

Two days before, I wouldn't have thought of her like that; I wouldn't let myself. However, the second I admitted it, I felt like a barrier fell down and I could see her in ways that...left me feeling hot.

My mind put all the pieces of her together like a puzzle. I hadn't realized I had already felt so much of her. I knew she had dainty feet from the time I wrapped her ankle, and tan smooth skin from the time I tried to take the wedding dress off her, which was also how I remembered what her back looked like, and how full her breasts were.

Not now. I groaned to myself, grabbing my bag, though I smiled at the shoes she had given me. When I came out into my living room, I saw Chris sitting on my counter, eating my cereal. "Shouldn't you be at class?"

"It's Saturday. Why were you smiling when you came out?" he asked mid-bite.

"None of your business—" I stopped, wanting to ask him a question. "What do you think of Camila? As a person ?"

He grinned wide.

"Before you start with your foolishness, just answer my question."

"Honestly?"

"No, lie to me. Yes. Honestly."

"She's super hot," he said seriously.

I kind of wished he had lied. "You're just saying that to see if you will get under my skin."

"No." He shook his head. "When Shawn first introduced us, I thought that too. She has a really Beautiful  smile. I thought she was actually one of the models for his magazines, and then realized her body was way too sinful for that. I mean, how full her ass— "

"Stop," I snapped at him. Before I beat you over the head with that bowl.

"What? You asked."

"I asked you to tell me what you thought of her as a person, not to give me a rundown of her body."

"Aren't bodies pretty much a big part of what makes up a person?"

Why am I talking to this kid? "NO You idiot. you know what Just forget it."

I moved to grab fruit from my fridge and a water bottle when he spoke again.

"Fine. Everything except body: she's smart, and Talented af, her jokes are little odd but in a funny and cute way, successful on her own, and lastly, but most importantly, Mom's already in love with her. If you didn't like her so much, I'd probably ask her out."

I stopped to look at him. "You like her?"

He shrugged. "Not as much as you do, and before you use me as an excuse not to date her, know that I said I would ask her on a date, not confess to being in love or anything like that. She's a nice and pretty cool woman to be around. Of course, any sane person would want to go on a date with her. Just because you're blind doesn't mean we all need to be."

"We both just got out of pretty serious relationships. This could blow back up in our faces badly. Maybe we should wait longer before doing anything." Anything more.

"If you know she likes you back, what are you waiting for? The people you both were in relationships with didn't."

I didn't even want to think about it anymore. "Don't eat all my cereal," I told him, walking to the door.

"Don't let her see the stingy part of you for a while—if you actually go for it." He snorted to himself.

"I already did." I grinned when his head whipped back to me, and I closed the door.