Hellbound - 001/Henry Creel/Peter Ballard

022

A.N.- Double update? Wow i am on a roll. Enjoy this one!

Henry Creel

"Nothing. I choose nothing." 

The words slash my heart as they leave my lips, leaving behind a bleeding corpse as I walk away from her, leaving her wide-eyed and slack body behind. Every step is another stab, the knife lodging in and out of my body again and again until I am nothing but a soulless body walking around. 

I don't know if I mean them, I don't know if that's what I really want, the revenge is not that important, it might have been a promise to myself when I was still a prisoner of that hellish place, but I don't know if I want it anymore. All I know is that Eve has managed to sneak past every warning and every line I drew and walked right past every barbed wire to the furthest place of my heart and stole it from me, and now she's destroying it, piece by piece. 

Eve hates everything I have done up until now, she's repulsed by me, repulsed by everything that I have done and if I had any morals in me I would feel the same way. I know that right now I disgust her and I'm the last thing she wants, but deep in me, I know that one day I'll have her back, I know that I haven't lost her. 

She still wants me, she showed me so today, and despite me wanting to choose her, I denied it, I chose my egoism rather than her. I hope it proves to be the right thing to do. 

Every step I take away from her hurts and pains me to the point of my own death, and I wish that she would put me out of my misery and join me in the perverse morals that I have. But she doesn't, if I'm stubborn she's even worse. 

And all of a sudden as if my prayers were heard by some perverse god I feel my limbs freeze with the buzz of power coating the air around me. She allows me to turn my head just to look at her, see her hand pointed at me as she pins me in place and walks towards me. We hold a string between us and she pulls me towards her, if I was anyone else I would be terrified at the murderous glare shooting from her eyes. 

"If you love me then why nothing? You're lying Henry." 

You know me so well love. 

The invisible bounds around me increase in pressure as time passes and no answer leaves me. 

"You love me, and I know that's not a lie. Why choose that petty revenge over us?"

There's an us?

"It's not petty revenge, it was a promise I made to myself when his taser hit me again and again after every time I came and visited you." 

She flinches as she remembers what happened to me because of my unconditional love for her. She remembers and maybe that fuels her even more. 

"That promise was nothing but hope Henry, you hoped for a better future and in your mind, that's what a better future looked like. Has nothing changed? Is your future still an image of you on a fiery throne all alone?" She tilts her head and I feel myself move in sync with her. 

"You loved me enough to be tortured every day." 

My past actions dance around us, the meaning of them clear in the air between us. If you loved me enough back then, do you love me enough now to go back on your word?

I do, and I would go back on every promise just to have her, just to have her in my arms and have her sleep next to me every night, wake up next to her every day, but I know deep down that she will never be mine, she will wake up next to me and see a murderer, she will never fully come to terms with what I have done. I have enough self-respect in me to not want that, to not want my heart shattered every living and breathing day of my life.