What do you exactly do with pain? This piercing feeling that tears us into pieces, hits the core of our souls and snatches de air from our lungs. That weird sensation where it feels hard to even swallow, something of large proportions that we can not even start to understand. Because we can certainly not make ourselves seem weak.
By experience, I could only ask what have I not tried? From crying and trying to pull the hair out of my head to just laying down on my bed, quietly writing on my notebook, to somehow perhaps blow of steam.
But I ask myself, what do you exactly do when pain devastates our senses with all its might? When you can no longer think with clarity, because of that one event that traumatized you. It certainly makes us feel confused when it comes to our thoughts and decisions.
What do I do when I seek for revenge? What do I do when I feel like giving up? What should I fucking do when the only thing I want to do is run away? Is that wrong? Should I feel guilty about it? But why would it be wrong? Just as simple as starting all over again, far away, in another place, surrounded by other people and other feelings...
But what if it is actually wrong? Who said that my life would be any better or easier if I only lived in any other place but mine?
I like to think that it is because happiness starts within oneself. If I can feel complete here, I would surely feel complete anywhere else. But I won't deny that the idea of getting away runs through my mind and would certainly help quite a little.
But what do I do when the desire to leave everything overcomes me? Perhaps it is because something bigger and better awaits me and that is why I feel motivated to just take a flight and leave, but what if it is just a passing feeling that arose form my pain?
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