In Order To Grow

Lesson

I have finally went out.
I have not done it in a little while.
But I was not feeling like it.
Like getting out of bed and dressing up.
Nor preparing breakfast,
or actually even eating at all.
I have lost a few pounds and my stomach looks flatter than usual.
Everything that surrounds me,
reminds me of you.
Of us.
I am sure I have completely drowned into an ocean of memories.
And as days went by,
it only felt worse,
as if being pushed countercurrent.
Only today,
8 a.m,
I went out.
And the sun was shining.
I was silently walking, and could only hear the birds singing.
There was something new in the air, so it occurred to me, that perhaps there was a chance I was moving on.
Slowly, but moving.
Somehow me eyes started embracing the landscape before me eyes.
My lungs savoured the taste of fresh breeze.
My lips could not avoid smiling at each flower that crossed my path.
It was for sure a long path,
but it took me back to me.
To my self presence, where I was enjoying the simple moment of my thinking.
I am in need to thank you though.
The way you left me, so sudden, made me acknowledge that I did lose so much time.
But only because I never got to savour the time we spent together.
Because I realized, perhaps a little too late, that nothing is repeatable.
That I will never feel such thing as meeting you for the first time again.
Each moment is unique and all of them have its charm.
I wish I could go back in time. I know I would haven done it differently.
I know I will never be able to get over you,
but I am slowly getting used to the lack of your presence.
And most importantly,
I finally smiled,
for me,
for loving me,
for finding me,
for living.
Thank you for the lesson.