Finding My Way Home

Chapter 3

Throughout the years I have been able to keep the panic attacks from coming but this one was different. It seemed like the more I tried for it to stop from happening the hard it came. A while later I was able to get the panic to go away. Sitting on the front steps having breathing come back to normal someone sat down next to me.

"No matter how you try you can never forget when you pulled the trigger. It stays with you forever."

Xzavier was sitting beside me.

"I'm sorry I talked like that. I don't know where it came from."

"I understand it. You act like it doesn't bother you and when someone asks you about it you get all defincive about it. I've been there so I know just how you feel."

"It hurts more when it's a kid you have to kill."

"I heard about that. I'm truly sorry about that."

"Mom told you, didn't she?"

"Yes she did."

Talking with Xzavier was good for me. It felt great talking to someone that understood what we go through. We got interrupted when mom called for dad to come inside and help her with the kids. Staying outside a bit longer looking up at the stars. The ringing of my phones pulled me back into the world. The caller ID read "Patrick."

"Hey bro."

"Hi, Quinn, how's it going?"

"Oh it's going, hanging in there."

"That's good, at least you're not giving up. The reason why I called is that I'm in town and I want to see you and catch up and there's someone I want you to meet."

"You know Pat I would love to see you, and I finally get to meet someone she must be special."

"She is and if I play my cards right she might be the one."

"Well in that case I'd be honored to meet her."

"Are you okay to meet at say 3:00 at the Liberty State park tomorrow?"

"Yeah I should be able to."

"Awesome. See you then."

"You too bro."

Heading inside I went straight to Athena's room to say goodnight and to tell her that I'm not mad at her. I had to tell her a few times that I'm not angry at her and that I'm sorry for yelling at her like that. She gave me a tight hug and told me that she still loves me even though I yelled at her.

Lying in bed reading a book nearly falling asleep when mom came in.

"Quinn, do you know why the nursery is locked?"

Putting my book down I looked at mom and tried to come up with something I didn't want the truth to ruin the surprise.

"Umm no I don't know why?"

"Maybe the boys were playing and accidentally locked it and the keys were inside. Oh man, now I'll have to ask Xzavier to get it open."

"Mom, stop stressing over it. It's just a locked door, nothing too serious."

"Yeah you're right. I just wanted to go inside a bit and talk with the baby."

"I get it."

"I'll go talk with your dad to see if he'll be able to open it up."

My mind went crazy. I cannot let dad open that door. He most likely will do it tomorrow before he leaves for work.

"Goodnight hun."