Where's My Love? - Lo'ak

Chapter 54: Where's My Love?

The thing with fear, is in order to get over it, you must live it.

And that's the problem for Lo'ak. His biggest fear is losing the ones he loves. Not being the protector like he is supposed to be.

He feels like a failure more than ever, and is living in his biggest fear.

Lo'ak sees the way his brother is struggling in the water, and he sees how Esmyrie doesn't surface, as if she never jumped in the first place.

He thinks it is a trick of the imagination, that his brain is just making him see those bad things but that Neteyam is actually okay and Esmyrie will be here any minute, but the sad reality is, is that's what he hopes, but not the truth.

"You skxawng. I'm shot." Neteyam confesses, his hand holding tight onto his wound, not yet knowing if the placement is deadly or not.

Lo'aks concerns go from Esmyrie immediately to his brother. He feels selfish for that truth, but his brother is shot, possibly dying just like Eywa warned, and for all Lo'ak knows, Esmyrie did jump but just swam in the other direction. For now his focus must be on Neteyam, because he can't let his brother die, not when he can possibly stop it.

Lo'aks eyes move to the blood leaking out of Neteyams wound to his brothers struggled breath.

"Shit! Give me a hand!" Lo'ak yells, his voice breaking.

He just now is starting to realize Tsireya is here along side them, an Ilu with her.

Neteyam sinks into the water slightly, and Spider grabs onto him, bringing him back to the surface.

"Keep him up!" Lo'ak shouts.

"I got him." Spider says, his hold never leaving Neteyam.

Lo'ak and Spider help bring Neteyam to the Ilu, forcing the boy on as gently as they can. Spider gets behind the boy, grabbing onto his waist to keep him up, while Lo'ak moves to the front of the Ilu, making the bond with the Ilu, while Tsireya holds onto the side.

Neteyam briefly looks back to the ship, his heart pounding with the thought of Esmyrie being back there, but as quick as the thought enters his mind, it leaves him, once pain enters his thoughts once more.

"It's okay bro, I got you." Lo'ak tries to reassure, holding one of Neteyams arms over his shoulder, making sure to never let go.

"They have Kiri and Tuk!" Tsireya warns, and Lo'aks ears pin to his head.

He briefly moves his eyes to the ship, thoughts entering him that they may also have Esmyrie, and he let's the Ilu stop for a second, his mind racing on what to do.

They have his sisters. They could have his mate. But Neteyam is shot. He could be dying. Will he lose them both if he goes back and tries to rescue Esmyrie? Will his time spent trying to find his mate, which may not even be there, result in Neteyams death? He doesn't know what to do.

And he feels a panic attack at the verge of escaping him.

It's the groan that leaves Neteyams mouth that forces the panic back down.

He looks over towards the ship once more, saying a soft pray to Eywa that she will keep Esmyrie safe until he saves Neteyam, and tells the Ilu to move once more, his heart slightly breaking with the thought he just abandoned the girl he loves to save his brother.

It's a cruel choice.

A choice no one should have to make.

A choice between a life for a life, and he hates it.

Save Esmyrie and have his brother bleed out, knowing of his brothers injury.

Or, save his brother, abandon his lifeline with his enemies, and hope she will forgives his selfishness.