Everything Blue

H The Talk

"He's so childish god I try to have a conversation and it's like he doesn't listen!" I shouted over the loud music. The room temperature beer paled in comparison to the champagne I was getting accustomed to.
"But he gives you experiences, a place to stay and some good sex!" Niall pats my shoulder while Zayn chatted with a few of his other friends. This was going to be their new life. "It is going to suck not having the smartest kid to cheat off of though. Imagine the study sessions."
"You know as soon as I'm back I'm enrolling right?"
"Oh you're enrolling?" A tall guy with a deep voice saunters over. His eyes were a light shade of grey, black hair and a scruffy 5 o'clock shadow. I tried to not notice the muscles peeking out of his flannel shirt.
"Why yes Harry is majoring in music and minoring in fashion." Niall elbows me softly.
"I think you're forgetting my Spain life-"
"Ax! Come help us set up the back room!" Some voice shouted over the music.
"My cue. Poker, you and your friends can join in like 10. Unless Spain life is waiting to take you away." He looked at me with a slight pout. My phone vibrated in my pocket, most likely Louis asking when he was going to pick me up. The funeral is tomorrow morning so I know I should be getting home soon.
"Spain life can wait." I say biting my lip.
"Tell the guys at the door Axel chose his favorite for the night. They know what to do."
Once Axel walked into the crowd I took to Niall.
"What? Live a little."
"But Louis-"
"Look I know about Louis. Axel doesn't want to know Louis' shadow, he wants to know who Harry is. Just show him who you are and have fun. Spain life is right there if you want it."
I nod and pull out my phone reading the text.
Sorry bout earlier, when we get back we can look at classes. Any school u want. Mi dinero es tu dinero.
I close my eyes softly trying to understand where he's coming from. Learning a craft where you don't plan on marketing is helpful but mastering your market space is the best and most efficient way to move up.
z is gunna drive me home, we're gunna binge netflix. xoxo
Without a second thought, I slipped my phone in my pocket.

"Ugh that's it Niall you've spent your fill." Zayn whined as I tipped back another beer. He was being such a buzzkill the entire time, I had plenty more to put for me and Niall.
"Yeah you're right babe. It is getting late some of us still have classes to attend to before we even dream about coming here." Niall grabs my hand under the table. "Ready Haz?"
"Hey Harry, tell me about your favorite thing in Spain." Axel levels his eyes at me, tapping the table softly. There were only two other guys, Axel, Niall, Zayn and I; the party seemed to die down outside.
"Ni, Zayn you go. I'll call Louis to pick me up when we're done."
"You sure? You've had enough and tomorrow-"
"Niall this was your idea."
Niall just nodded and Zayn led the way out of the room.
"Ax we're going outside for a smoke, we can play more in a bit. Money bags over here seems like he wants to hand out more cash." The two boys also exited, leaving me with Axel.
"My favorite part is the family culture. The bakery I work for took me in as soon as I proved myself."
"So you live and work there but you have an accent like everyone else..."
"I just live there temporarily."
"And school?" Axel looked me up and down.
"Online courses. I just have finals and then I'm done, I finished the rest. I had a lot of free time in Spain."
"So tell me as someone as beautiful as yourself ends up stuck here when it sounds like opportunity is all out there?"
I take a swig of my beer and ponder the question. How many have I had?
"Let me get you a refill while you think about it."
Axel exits the room and I use that time to check my phone.
itd be nice to have my bf supporting me rn. u ever coming back?
The time read 2am. The text said two hours ago. How much time have I spent in this room?
U can party and i cant?
I sent the text as Axel walked back in, drink in his hand.
"The boys are smoking a fat one so they'll be a while, wanna hit the couch?" He motions towards the couch against the wall. It was a typical dirty old couch that's probably had ten owners by now. But it did seem more comfortable than metal folding chair I was on.
I slowly stumbled my way to the couch, trying to avoid tripping in the dark room.
"I have a boyfriend." I blurt out as Axel sits next to me on the couch. He scoffs and hands me the drink he got for me.
"Spain is his trip huh?"
"Louis Tomlinson 24/7."
"Oh you're the hot twink he's with. He is one lucky man."
"I'd say other way around. I mean I am the one with a model and actor."
"Harry, the boyfriend." Axel puts his arm on the back of the couch, moving closer to me.
"I'm more than that."
"Prove it."
Without thinking I push myself to kiss Axel. His lips were rough and chapped, not soft and moist like Louis. I pull back and look him in the eyes. Maybe it was the alcohol or just overall confusion of what I want but something made me want to kiss him more.
As Axel leaned in to bridge the gap once again my phone rings in my pocket. I ignore it, knowing it's Louis and go in for another kiss. Quickly our kisses get more heated, his hands finding his way to my hips.
"Let's go. Now." Louis stern voice booms from across the room. My blood felt frozen in my veins.
"Loverboy we're busy, catch a hint?" Axel tries to pull me close again.
"Harry is coming with me. NOW!" The room fell silent as his voice echoed against the walls. I had never seem him this way.
"I gotta go." I say softly to Axel, shaking as I stood up. Tears prickled my eyes as I started walking towards Louis.
"Keep being the boyfriend Harry. No one will know who Harry Styles is anyways."
The words forced the tears to fall from my cheeks as I kept walking towards Louis silently. We both walked into the car and once the car was started I finally looked at Louis. His face dead pan, his body ridged.
"Louis I-"
"The only reason I got you is because Niall was worried."
"But I-"
"Shut up."
"Can't I even explain?"
"Explain that you cheated on me? That you lied where you were? Hesitated when I said to go?" Louis gripped the steering wheel, driving faster towards his house.
"I'm sorry I got carried away drinking and I'm stressed I just needed to feel something..."
"Feel this. I have to face that I will never see my mother alive again. She is gone. I have to go back to work after all this and pretend I didn't chose my career over my mother." He parks his car, turning to face me. "You do whatever you want. I will be with my family today. You do what you've gotta do to feel something. But I know Harry Styles."
"Louis I love you I'm sorry-"
"You need to figure out what you want. Don't bother me while you decide between nothing and everything. Make the right choice."
Without another word, Louis got out of the car and walked into the house.
I followed him in without saying anything, the headache from the incoming hangover was already here. I watched Louis slump over to the couch, lay down and turn off the light without even a glance at me. I took the hint and walked up the stairs to the bedroom.

The room that could have been ours.